what angels do (bokuaka)

Chapter 8

(Akaashi's pov)

I wake up but I don't open my eyes. My head is still on Bokuto's chest and I can feel his arm wonder over my back, caressing it delicately with his fingertips. His touch is so relaxing and comforting.. he makes me feel safe just by being around him. Since I started spending more and more time with him, my anxiety attacks begin to appear less and less, letting me enjoy living from time to time. Maybe that's overly dramatic, but it actually feels like that to me.

Bokuto delicately grabs the back of my hand, pulling my arm a little, but not harshly. I then feel his lips on my arm, over the scars. This time I don't flinch, but I can still feel shame build up inside me, until I hear his sleepy voice whisper something..

"I hope you'll never do this to yourself again..  You deserve to be happy.
as much happy as you can.. I would do anything to hear you laugh or smile.. And I will do my best to make it happen."

I barely hear him, but I can feel butterflies in my stomach and some tears build up in my eyes.

He then hugs me tighter, still wondering his finders on my back.
I instinctively get comfortable on him, getting as close as possible.

"mmh.." I "say" sleepy.

"Akaashi! you're finally awake! I missed you" he says already full of energy, a completely different Bokuto from erarlier.

"Bokuto.. how could you've missed me if we were sleeping on the same bed.. and we still are.. and we're hugging..?"
I ask confused and sleepy af.

He smìles brightly
"being with you while you're asleep is not the same as being with you when you're awake.. I can't talk to you when you're asleep.. so I missed you"

I shake my head, smiling.

"oh ehm.. by the way.. did you actually like what we did?"

"Bokuto-san.." I say blushing, not expecting him to ask something like that.

"sorry, but.. it's just.. that was my first time with a guy.. well, i did other stuff with guys but never the real deal"

wait..what? is he for real? holy shit..

"Are you serious?" I ask almost shocked.
"wait a sec.. then why did you already have the lube?"

I can see him blush a little.
"well.. I'm bi.. so I figured that someday something would happen with a guy too.."

I nod as a response, still shocked.
How the hell could that've been his first time with a guy.. I was fucking perfect..

"So... was I good? Please tell me I didn't fuck everything up.." he says almost with a sad tone.. please god not emo mode first thing in the morning.

No, the only thing you fucked was me, and real good....

I blush, WHY AM I THINKING THIS WAY.
I raise a hand to my mouth, covering it while blushing even more.

"...akaashi...?"

"It was good.. really good..." I say almost shyly.