started with a dare | NORENMIN

11 | COMPLAINTS

"it makes me feel alone. like... they're leaving me out of something. but i don't know why. there's nothing for me to feel left out about, mainly because they're my best friends, but also because that was just an imaginary scenario that you gave to me," the brown haired male elaborated.

the scenario presented from jisung was just in his head, jeno had to tell himself. it's hypothetical, not something that really happened. however, no matter how much the brown haired male tried to convince himself that everything was just spoken theoretically, he found himself unable to free the feeling of loneliness from inside him.

jisung let out a sigh, looking at his depressed-looking friend who seemed to be hopeless for absolutely no reason. it reminded the boy of himself back when his love for chenle was still unrequited, and it made the light blue haired boy tempted to help ease jeno from his pain. however, the only way of doing so would be to confess his feelings and move on, yet this seemed like something the brown haired male was hesitant to do.

"honestly, why don't you just confess to renjun?" jisung asked bluntly. he didn't find any need to sugarcoat his words and plus, in a situation like this, it's better to be straightforward. "you've liked him for a while, haven't you? why don't you just... confess and move on?"

the brown haired male just looked up at his friend with suddenly sad eyes. he had no idea as to what he was feeling and why he was feeling it, and it was so overwhelming for jeno. he usually knew himself really well: what he wants, what he doesn't want, what he likes, what he doesn't like, what he feels. the brown haired male knew it all about him, but feeling something that he's never experienced before, something that he doesn't know, robbed everything that the korean male knew about himself, almost as if his entire identity was stolen from him. yet it was only a small thing out of a large whole, one simple foreign feeling got jeno to overthink this way.

"if only it was that easy. you know yourself how difficult it is to confess to someone, especially if it's your best friend," the brown haired boy said, looking down. "i don't wanna lose him, not now, not ever. and if that means i have to hide my feelings inside for him to stay in my life, then it's worth all the pain."

"jeno, i don't think renjun hyung would leave you if you told him about how you feel. think about it, he feels that exact same way towards jaemin, so he-"

"that's another thing that's stopping me," jeno suddenly announced, cutting jisung off from his words. "jaemin."

the brown haired male's words sounded melancholy, depressed, hopeless. jisung couldn't believe that jeno, the same guy who was so cheerful and excited to talk about his kiss experience with renjun, had become someone reserved and sorrowful within a span of minutes.

"i feel like if i confess my feelings for renjun, then it will also affect my friendship with jaemin because he likes renjun, too. if i confess and both of them leave me... i don't know what i'll do next."

"okay, um... there's a couple things wrong with that," the light blue haired male said, mainly referring to the part where jeno talked about the other brown haired male liking the small chinese, but he was unable to catch that.

"but i highly doubt that they'll leave you because of something like that. if they do, then so what? just cry yourself a river, build a bridge, and get over it! if that was the case, then there's no reason to dwell on it. they aren't worth your time, your pain, if that's what they're gonna do in the end. but trust me, i know they won't leave you."

"that doesn't help the fact that i'm still scared!" jeno was on the verge of tears. talking about his feelings was never the brown haired male's strong point for this very reason. he becomes very sensitive and feels extremely vulnerable when talking about his emotions, especially to other people, and especially in this kind of environment. yet despite his rigid exterior, jeno somehow found himself willingly putting himself in a vulnerable state, maybe because he knew that jisung would be there for him if he really does break down.

and as if on cue, the light blue haired male reached over to embrace his friend in a tight hug, causing jeno's tears to pass the boundaries of his eyelids and slide down his cheek one by one.

"shh... it's okay... it will be okay. it's okay to cry. you've held this pain in you for so long, and you've dealt with everything alone. but now, you have me, and you have chenle. you're not alone anymore. we'll help you through the end."

the change of ambiance in the room was unsettling, but that wasn't the main concern for either of the two boys inside the dorm room of the light blue haired male. jeno making sense of his feelings is the most important thing, and both boys seemed to know that.

but this still didn't help ease the foreign feelings from the brown haired male, and by this point, jeno knew that the only way he could ever get over this was by confessing.