A man goes to see a wizard. He ask the wizard if he can remove a curse. The wizard says sure, if the man remembers the exact words. The man responds "I now pronounce you husband and wife..."
Husband and wife were driving down a highway when they saw some donkeys. The husband asks if those are her relatives. The wife says, "Yes, sort of. They are my in-laws."
Judge: Why did you beat your husband's head with a chair?
Wife: Because the table was too heavy to lift.