Letting Go- WATTY AWARDS 2011!

Letting Go- Day 6

            "I can't take that much away from you." Daniel said as he grabbed my hand. "I want you to stay here with me forever, but there is no way that could ever happen." He didn't look right. I couldn't put my finger on it, but he looked different. He was pale and his lips were almost a purple color. His hand was like ice in mine. Every second he seemed to change into something else.

            "But it could be like this. Just us for the rest of eternity." I said.

            "Jenny, is this a face you would want to wake up to every morning? Is this a face you would want to kiss? Because if you choose to stay, there is no going back. It's just us. Me looking like this forever." He was so white and pale. His skin had started flaking off and his hair falling out. His eyes had giant bruises under them and the skin around his eyes was receding.

            "I still love you!" I managed to say, but I couldn't look at him. His teeth started falling out and plunking down on the bed. Tears in his skin opened, but no blood came out. His neck and limbs looked like toothpicks that were about to break. Slowly, his skin slipped off his arms, only leaving the white bones behind. Soon everything was gone and he was a pile on the bed.

            "Daniel!" I screamed as I came out of it. He had been able to put images in my mind- like when I went back to the car accident. "That will never happen! If I stay we will just be like this!" I screamed, but I wasn't sure. Tears welled up in my yes at the thought of him being like that. A corpse that would soon turn into nothing.

            "Did you know my funeral was today? It's sad that I had to miss it." He smiled up at me, but I just stared.

            "How are you okay with this? Any of this? You act like everything is fine! You don't care that you're dead or that my heart is being ripped out! I hate you like this! Did you loose your mind or heart in the accident, because you don't have either of those anymore!" I screamed.

            "It's called acceptance. I have to move on. I'm not going to dwell on the past. It's too hard." He said.

            "So you're not going to think of the future either? You aren't going to see past these two days, are you? I'm going to go back and be nothing more than a memory?"

            "Jenny, you're being stupid. Dead people don't have memories."

            "Why are you acting like this?" I asked him.

            "Acting like what? Oh, you mean being realistic? Sorry to disappoint you and all, but this is how it is, Jen. Get use to it." He wouldn't look at me, and I knew something was up.

            "Tell me what's happening between us." I said to him. I scooted forward on the bed and put my hand on his back. That's when he started crying. He was gulping down air and trying to breathe and calm himself, but nothing helped. I put his head on my shoulder and stroked his back for hours, until the bright sun fell behind the clouds.

            "I'm not sure if I can let you go! I love you so much." He stuttered. He kept crying until he just fell asleep in my lap.

            I tried to sit there and remember everything about him. The curve of his lips, his long eyelashes brushing his cheeks. How his nose turned up at the end. I spent all night committing everything about him to memory.

            Our second to last day was ruined by our fighting. We only had 24 more hours until we would never see each other again. Then I cried myself to sleep, going over everything about him in my head again and again.