Play No More (Player Next Door sequel) ✓

57 | Dinner from hell

Thank you @casadesams_goa for the sparkling poster <3

Please vote!  This chapter took a while to write :)

Chapter 57: Dinner from hell

There was a winter in my childhood where I spent most afternoons after school in the library, because the heating had been switched off at home. Mom could only pay some of the bills and chose electricity instead.

One of the books I read there was about the concept of dualism. It's the belief that two opposing forces can exist in harmony. They conflict but also complement each other, like yin and yang.

I don't know why I thought about that now, years later in Chad's basement in Dubai. 

We test each other.

I just hope we don't break each other.

"I know it hurts," Luke said, "Trust me, I've been there. But Minnie, you're stronger than me in so many ways. All I'm saying is that I don't think your happiness should be tied to the superficial acceptance of irrelevant people. They're irrelevant."

I was still thinking back to the little girl who spent so much time reading books in the library because she preferred fiction to reality. 

I'll always prefer fiction, but maybe I need more courage to face reality.

When I venture out, I spend too much time worried about what people think of me. I blame myself for not fitting in, but maybe it doesn't matter whether I fit in or not. What's so wrong with standing out anyway?

All the world's innovations happened because someone dared to be different. Our world likes convention. I don't need to like the world – I just need to live in it.

And hiding from it, is not the way to live.

"I see," I said.

After our impassioned speeches tonight, it was pathetic that this was all I could conjure up. He really hit a nerve there – calling me out on my insecurities.

"I'm not trying to be needy," I said, "And I don't expect you to hold my hand through everything. I think you forget how I'm used to holding my own hand. I've gone through most of life by myself and I've learnt to support myself."

I wanted to make that clear because this whole 'I'm needy' look is really missing the point.

"You and I are in a relationship which means we support each other," I clarified, "You know my insecurities and I think I know yours. It was our first night out at a club with your friends in a new country, which is miles away from what I'm used to. So of all nights to check in on me from time to time, I'd say that was a good one."

"That's true," he said, "I'm sorry."

His expression was soft as he gazed at me. There was a raw hurt in his eyes mixed with sadness for hurting me. He looked like he just wanted this argument to end. 

He stepped forwards and wrapped his strong arms around my body. I felt my hands run over the familiar feel of his upper body and melted into his hug. How I missed this. His strength, his warmth, his comfort.

"I'm sorry too," I squeezed my eyes shut, pushing the tears back. And I held onto him.

I held him and quietly admitted, "I was scared we were about to break up."

"Over an argument like this?" Luke asked softly, tilting his head so he could see mine, "We're too strong for that."

I felt my heart soar at that response. Luke had confidence I lacked. He was strong, but I was more attracted to the strength of his will power. He didn't want to let us go.