First Life //Ateez

¦2¦

Seonghwa was laying down, between San and Wooyoung. The rest were close by, scattered in different positions. Noone was speaking, keeping quiet, just enjoying the moment.

Because they were like this, they didn't have needs, neither for food nor for sleep. Seonghwa had no idea what these even were. Most of their time in the white space was spent just laying around, and talking about past memories.

Seonghwa didn't mind though and he tried to get the most out of it, since he was sure that the rest would have to go soon. And he didn't know how long they would be away.

He let out a sigh, his thoughts stopped being optimistic. What if he never got to live a life? What if he was never going to meet them? What if he got stuck there? What if the rest would disappear and not come back to him and he was left alone?

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" San asked quietly, seeing the change in Seonghwas aura. He knew, everyone knew what was going on with Seonghwa, he had spoken about his thoughts with them. And they didn't like the fact that they were helpless.

"Nothing really. Just the usual"

"Aww baby, please don't think like that. Besides, I have a feeling that you'll be joining us soon" Hongjoong said softly, wanting to give some hope to the male.

"You say that every time Joongie. But it's the same every time" He took a deep breath, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. He couldn't stop them.
"I just dont want to be alone anymore" His voice cracked, and the salty droplets started falling.

He didn't mean to cry. He didn't want to seem like a cry baby to them. And besides, it was something that he couldn't control or have any saying over. But still, that didn't help him.

The rest panicked a little, Seonghwa wasn't the one to cry over something, so now seeing him bawling his eyes out, was enough to make them worry.

"Hey baby, hey its fine. Everything is fine. We're here now, we're not going anywhere" Wooyoung said and lifted them both, craddling Seonghwa back and forth.

The boys moved and formed a circle around them, being as close to Seonghwa as possible. He needed them right now. More than anything.

"I don't want you to leave again. I can't shake the feeling that one day you wont come back. And i'll stay behind, not knowing where you are" He cried, voice shaking, trusting them with his biggest secret.

Most of the times they talked about it, he would always say that he was bored, or that he couldn't wait to live a life.

But now it was the first time telling the rest about what he was truly feeling.

He was afraid. He was terrified. Being alone most of the time, made you think the worst Scenarios resulting in your thoughts to spiral into the wrong direction.

And Seonghwa didn't want to burden the rest or make them feel guilty. It wasn't something they could control and they didn't deserve to hear him complain.

But he couldn't keep them all this to himself. At some point the glass would overflow and all this would be visible. And it seemed like this was the time for Seonghwa.

"Shh flower its OK now. We're here now. Please stop crying" Yeosang said, feeling himself tearing up. He couldn't stand seeing anyone crying, and especially his loved ones.

Mingi brought his hand up and down his back, trying to calm the boy down. It worked, when they heard small sniffles coming from him, instead of his heart breaking sobs.

"I im sorry. I didn't mean to cry" Seonghwa tried to laugh, wiping his tears with his shirt.

"No baby. You don't get to say sorry. We should be sorry. We don't know why this is happening, but trust us, if it was in our hand, you would never have left our side" Hongjoong moved and brought his hand through the boys hair, something that Seonghwa loved and calmed him down.

They were all looking at him with sympathy in their eyes, they knew that Seonghwa must have felt terrible when he was left alone. They would all go at some point, leaving Seonghwa.

And noone could stay behind. When they tried to keep Seonghwa company so that he wasn't alone, it was as if an invisible force dragged them out of the white place. So even though they wanted, it was futile to go against what was happening.

"Its fine guys. Its fine. I shouldn't get too sensitive or emotional at this point. Im sorry"

"We understand it sweetheart. But we promise you, we will always come back home, back to you. It might take a while for both you and us, but in the end, we're bound to be together" Yunho said softly, placing a kiss on the boy's forehead.

"Do you really promise?" The boy said with a small voice, as if he was afraid that all this would disappear, that their promise wouldn't last.

"We promise sweetheart. In this life, and every one that will follow"