it was finally Monday and it was time for my first therapy session. I don't know how far I came, enough to go to therapy that's for sure. surely now I feel like there's something wrong with me. Although there was always a part of me that felt like that.
"ready" I hear my mom say and I nod. I threw on a big sweater, leggings, boots and my hair in a ponytail. no make up.
I didn't speak on my way to the place where I would be going. I stay in the car not wanting to go inside "y/n please just go" my mom begs "you don't have to say anything just go" her voice is pleading.
I finally get out of the car without a word and head into the building. I keep walking until I find an elevator and go up to the 7th floor. I look for the door and finally found it.
"hello may I help you?" A lady said "I-I'm here for" I softly say "oh that's right! y/n correct?" she smiles and I nod "ok come have a seat" she says and I sit on the couch that was in the little room "ok so what happened" she kept asking me all these questions but I never said anything unless it was a yes or no question, even then I only shook my head.
"well y/n. I see you don't want to speak right now and that's fine. we will get through this together and take it step by step sound good"
but that's it I didn't want to take step by step or take therapy, as if I need that "no" I speak "I don't need this, I don't need any of this. I don't even know why I'm taking therapy to begin with!" I yell and get up pacing back and forth.
"all of this happened for a reason and until you are ready to speak and go back to school you will stop taking therapy" she says "but therapy! only people with problems take that!" i was still pacing back and forth
"no y/n you're wrong" she continues "therapy isn't only for people with problems, maybe just to let it all out and have someone to talk to about whatever you're going through wether it's something major or small" finally it was over and I was able to go home.
"here's some food." my mom says "oh god y/n, how much longer are you going to be here. laying in your bed like if your life is over. it's not. you need to go back to school and go live your life. It hurts so bad to see my girl go through this after seeing you go through it already."
that's something I didn't expect from my mom but it wasn't my first time going through depression. I went through this when my dad cheated on my mom and soon he stopped caring about me and that's when it hit me so I had to be in rehab for over a year, thats also part of the reason we moved. I felt so alone it hurt so bad that at one point I couldn't take it so I stop going to school, eating, talking, and started wearing black.
"bye" I mumble and I hear the door shut. I get up and see that she made chicken Alfredo pasta. it was my favorite and she knew I could never give that up so I ate up and drank the juice she poured in a cup for me.
I woke up and got ready for school. it was my first day back and I was nervous. A notch formed in my stomach as I entered school. I went into first period without talking to anyone and that's what I did all day long. I blocked everyone out. I walked back home when I see a car pull up it was jack and I roll my eyes "need a ride" he says "no" I say and keep walking "I'm sorry" I hear him say but I keep walking.
nothing will change between us, nothing.
-3 months later-
I was better now, although the thought of jack was kind of painful but I was fine. I started talking more and stuff. It was the last week of school and we were about to finally graduate high school. I applied to two collages or shall I say university's and surprisingly I got into both! now I just had to choose what collage I would be going to.
"AYE THAT BOOTAY!" Cameron yells at me and I smack his hand "ouch!" He yelps and I laugh "where's Bella?" I ask him and he points to over her and Matt "OMG! YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE!" I yell to them and they laugh as they made their way over to us "thanks" Bella says "take care of him" I smile and she nods ok.
"YO BABE" I yell to Taylor "hey what happened to me!" Cameron pouts and I laugh. no I don't like them I just mess around with them because it's fun and I don't say any of this in front of jack "I don't like you I switched to Taylor" I shrug "you slut" Bella says laughing "aye, don't hate the playa hate the game" I say laughing, me and Bella were very close now we were like sisters so nothing she said to me offended me or vise versa.
"Hey guys" jack says "hey" we all say "guys I want ice cream" I whine "let's go!" Johnson says "right now?" I ask and he nods. It's lunch anyway so we made a quick stop to the ice cream shop before heading back.
We all went to my house after school and we were sitting all together in the family room doing homework, well sorta "so what collages did you apply for!" Matt asks me "Yale and Harvard university" I say "woah University's!" Bella says I laugh "yeah" "she's always been smart" jack says and I smile "where they at?" Nash asks "Yale's in Connecticut and Harvard's in Massachusetts" I trail off. There face expressions fall from their faces "which one are you going to" Aaron quietly says "I think I'm going to Yale"
"that's in Connecticut! you'll have to leave state" Bella says "well yeah but we still have summer together!" I say and they shrug "oh come on" I say "let's make summer last together" they all smile and agree. not like they had a choice..
I was getting ready for bed and then I heard my phone buzz it was jack he had texted me.
Jack Gilinsky: why didn't you tell me.
Jack Gilinsky: where the university's were.
Me: I'm sorry I didn't think I had to inform you about something that doesn't concern you..
Jack Gilinsky: well it does concern me..the girl I love will be going out of state.
Me: Jack don't...ok. you'll be going to collage as well.
Jack Gilinsky: no I will because I love you y/n I didn't know that until I realized it.
Me: I'm going to bed see you tomorrow.
Jack Gilinsky: don't leave..
*last day of school*
I was ready I had my hair done, my makeup. All I had to do was put on my dress. Bella, the boys and I were all going in a limo so it would pick us one by one and I would be the last one thank god because didn't want to be the first one. We kinda just told the driver to go to the house that was closest then go on from there. We drove around stopped at places before we had to go to the whole ceremony thing.
The ceremony was over and we all hugged blah, blah, blah. it was finally summer. We took a couple pictures and then we said we should go eat and go somewhere "mom, we're all going out for a bit!" I say to her and she smiles "ok but don't be late because I'm making you ALL a party and I already invited there parents/family" she smiles "thanks mom love you!" I say and head to the limo.
"AYE YO GUYS LETS DANCE!" I hear Carter yell. we were at my house and everyone was there "you guys go ahead I'll stay here" I say to them and Jack stays with me "you didn't have to say you know" I say "no I didn't but I wanted to" I smile "thanks" he gets up "want something to drink?" I nod "ok I'll be right back" he says and I see him slowly disappear into the crowd.
It'll be 4 more chapters until I fast forward 4 years , like after collage and all.
YOU ARE READING
found :: jgFanfiction
and it was after a while I realized she didn't want to be found.. *this was my very first book and I cringe every time I read it but since it was my first book I keep it up pls bare with me lmao*