[PROSECUTION WITNESS #2-Barton Mueller]
James: Mr. Mueller, what killed Cullen Krast?
Mueller: An elevated heart rate caused by the release of massive amounts of norepinephrine into his body.
James: Did the injuries he sustained play an identifiable role in his death?
Mueller: No. That conclusion is wrong.
James: Is Jonathan Ludarac capable of producing the heart attack inducing response in Mr. Krast?
Harker: Objection, calls for speculation.
James: Is a human being capable of producing that response?
James: Nothing further.
Harker: Ms. Xiong disagrees with you, Mr. Mueller.
Mueller: Ms. Xiong is an inferior investigator. There's a reason she still works with a relatively small county sheriff's office rather than a more reputable organization, like I do.
Harker: Why do you say that?
James: Objection, Your Honor, relevance.
Harker: It was the prosecution that presented Ms. Xiong as a credible authority. Mr. Mueller may have valid information that discredits Ms. Xiong and her knowledge regarding this investigation.
Mueller: She is far too focused on the injuries. Her investigation has the quality of a fifth grade biology project. This line of work requires better than Kelly Xiong. What killed Cullen Krast is in his blood.
Harker: I see. Maybe she is too focused on the injuries. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, look at these photos. How stupid Ms. Xiong was to assume that just because if Cullen Krast had been alive in this condition, he would have been capable of licking his own spine, and that that must be what killed him. Mr. Mueller, how many people do you know go through life with their head on backwards?
James: Objection. Mr. Harker is trying to testify for the witness.
Harker: How can you object? Clearly, people with their head on backwards are commonplace in Mr. Mueller's life. I'd just like to know how many he knows. I don't know any.
Mueller: Are you calling me stupid?
J: The objection is sustained, Mr. Harker.
Mueller: Maybe you'd like to present your own theory of what killed him what with all the medical training you receive as a lawyer.
J: Calm down, Mr. Mueller.
Mueller: He insults my intelligence, and you tell me to calm down? Did you attend the university of mediocrity with Ms. Xiong?
J: Mr. Mueller, if you insult me one more time, I'll give you a fine so big you'll have to pawn your diplomas.
Harker: Mr. Mueller, if I told you I was going to twist your head around, would you be afraid?
Harker: How about if I started doing it?
James: Your Honor.
J: Sustained, Mr. Harker.
Harker: Mr. Mueller, can you tell me exactly what killed Cullen Krast?
Harker: Caused by what?
Mueller: I don't know.
Harker: Shocking. Nothing further.
James: Redirect, Your Honor.
James: Mr. Mueller, you are aware that Ms. Xiong is a forensic pathologist?
Mueller: Giving her that title seems generous, but sure.
James: And you know that forensic pathologists focus on facts?
Mueller: I see what you're getting at.
James: The backwardness of Mr. Krast's hands, feet and head is a fact, correct?
Mueller: Sure, it's a fact, but if you're not a total-
James: So you admit that it is a fact. Do you admit that it is a fact that may have some bearing on this case?
Mueller: It may have a bearing on the case, but as far as-
James: So it's true, according to you, that these facts have a bearing on the case, and you totally ignored them in your investigation.
Mueller: It's an irrelevant fact.
James: I'm willing to bet that the jury is not as ignorant as you are, and furthermore-
J: Oh, that's quite enough, Ms. James. Take a seat. Mr. Mueller, you may step down as well. No, Mr. Mueller. You've said more than enough in my courtroom. Leave the stand immediately.
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The People v. Jonathan Ludarac (Abridged)Horror
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