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Original Edition: Thirty-Eight

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Soren kicked the door to his room open, and for just a moment I had to pull my attention from him. I was curious to see the space that was his and his alone. It was surprisingly...white. The furniture, comforter, even the walls, were crisp, bright white, which made the hits of warm gray pop throughout the massive space. One of the large windows under the bell took up much of one wall, and the sparkling Christmas lights on Spelling's storefronts caught my eye. I'm not sure what I expected his room to look like, but this was not it.

He placed me on his bed, and I removed my bra and panties while he finished undressing. With both of us naked, we paused and appreciated the sight of the other. He was perfect, from the way his hair curled around his ears to the lean, defined muscle that graced his frame. And the trail of hair that led down...I'd seen him naked before, but not like this. The blank backdrop of his bedroom amplified just how gorgeous he was in all his bare glory.

Soren's electric blue eyes soaked in every inch of my body, seeming to study every flaw like they were worthy of just as much attention as those parts of me I liked best. His gaze intensified, and my veins heated, causing me to shift.

"What?" I asked, scooting back against the headboard, suddenly conscious of every part of my body on display, forcing myself not to cover up my most vulnerable parts.

"Just seeing you like this in my bed waiting for me." He crawled up the mattress toward me, wrapped his arm around my waist, and slid me down until I laid beneath him. He hooked his finger under my chin and lifted my face, his body heat warming every inch of me. "No matter what happens tonight, you can't fall in love with me, Gemma." His tone was desperate.

"I won't," I assured him, but even I could hear the certainty in my voice faltering.

"Please don't fall in love," he whispered again and pressed his lips to mine. The kiss was slow and full of raw emotion. The way his tongue sought mine was like this kiss could be our very last, and he held me so close as if he were trying to keep me from falling through his grasp. And his need ignited mine.

I wrapped my legs around him and moved my lips along his jaw. Soren's hands slid between us, cupping my breast and running his thumb over my nipple until it was aching under his touch. I arched under him, eager to feel his mouth sucking and soothing the delicate peak. Our bodies spoke to each other in a language all their own, and he drew my nipple between his lips.

A groan escaped me, and I tangled my fingers in his hair, tugging gently as he sucked, the tightness in my core growing with every passing second. "Soren," I whispered, dragging my fingernails up and down his spine.

He shivered under my touch and pulled back, his lips popping away from my sensitive skin. I whimpered, disappointed, but just as soon as his lips left one hardened bud, they closed around the other. I sighed, sliding my hand back into his hair, grateful for how tentative he was.

Shivers ran up my spine when his hand glided underneath my hips, tilting them to invite him in. He grasped his erection and guided it through the wet apex of my legs—the head pressing into the bundle of nerves that craved his attention. He pressed into my entrance and released my nipple. His warm breath swept over me as he said, "Tell me what you need because the moment I feel you wrapped around me, I fear I will lose myself."

I pulled my lip between my teeth and placed my palm on his face, brushing my thumb over his cheekbone. "First, I want you to kiss me again," I whispered. I knew it must sound like a strange request, with all the parts of his body at my disposal, but his lips on mine made me feel weightless, like all the cares and struggles in my life were irrelevant. "And then, I want you to make love to me. Is that allowed?" I asked, my mouth quirking up into a crooked smile.

"I don't think I'm capable of showing you how deeply I care about you in any other way."

Soren kissed me deeply as his body sank into mine, making us one. His worry for not lasting long must have dissipated because he put every effort into sliding his tongue against mine and running his hands over every part of me he could touch. He rocked his body in and out of mine, and with every long stroke, the tension mounting inside me grew closer to bursting into pure ecstasy.

My breaths became ragged, and I rolled my hips against him, keeping perfect rhythm with his every move. "Soren, I'm so close," I whispered against the shell of his ear, kissing the soft spot where his neck met his collarbone. I slid my hands down his back and gripped his ass, pushing him harder against me. "But I never want this to end," I murmured, stretching my neck back and letting my eyes fall closed with the building pleasure.

His breath sped up, and his hips thrust with more urgency. Soren held himself over me with one arm as the other gripped my thigh. "Oh my God," he moaned, and his body trembled.

I was on the precipice, ready to dive in and feel the release flow through me, and I wanted him to feel it too. "Let go, Soren. I want you to feel what I'm about to feel," I gasped, tightening around him, urging him to find his release.

He turned his face to the ceiling, the cords in his neck straining and his lips parted. The sounds of his release vibrated through me, sending me over the edge as well. It felt like time had stopped, suspending us in our passion for one another, and at the same time, it ended too soon. Soren collapsed on top of me and gathered me to him, rolling to his side and tucking me into the crook of his arm. We basked in the aftermath of our lovemaking for some time, weaving in and out of consciousness.

"Soren?" I asked, tracing figure eights on his chest.

"Hmm?"

"Don't be angry with me, but...remember when I told you I wouldn't fall in love with you?"

His eyes went wide, and his head bolted from the pillow. "Gemma, you—"

I pressed my finger to his lips and pushed his head back down, climbing on top of him and settling on his lap. "I was just going to say that's going to be very, very difficult."

"I'm not sure that is easing my worry," he flatly said, crossing his arms behind his head. "But I can't deny that it makes me happy as well."

I smiled and laid my head on his chest, whispering, "Good, let that feeling outweigh the worry. Because remember...you also said you wouldn't push me away."

Encircling me in his arms, he said, "Pushing you away or letting you go is the last thing I intend to do, Gemma."

"

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