20 | The (Gentle)man, the Myth, the Legend

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Within the matter of days, I'd arrived at the conclusion that I despised my new office

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Within the matter of days, I'd arrived at the conclusion that I despised my new office. The issue with a small, close-knit team was that trying to infiltrate it as an outsider who'd transferred from an office said team considered the pits of hell was a living nightmare. While I knew the King's Cross office was the hub of the estate agency with multiple teams spread across multiple floors, how others within the company might've viewed it hadn't once crossed my mind.

My Team Leader remained friendly, but it felt like other colleagues were going out of their way to ignore me. I only realised some might've taken issue with where I'd transferred from when I overheard a conversation in the staff kitchen, where one woman was listing all the signs I'd shown which suggested I thought I was better than them. The way I'd organised my desk was the final nail in the coffin, apparently. In reality, I wasn't sure what I'd done to offend them beyond sitting quietly at my desk studying the office's portfolio to prep for future viewings.

It really was quite awful.

When I returned home at the end of the week, I didn't want to complain to Dharsheni because she was busy browsing potential apartments with excitement oozing from her pores. I'd have preferred to chew my own arm off than confide in my mother, I didn't want to put a downer on Harriet in the midst of her wedding bubble, Casper was out of the question because I didn't want him to think I was being pathetic, and I couldn't call Finn because I was trying to put some distance between us. 

Instead of speaking to anyone that Friday night, I returned to my apartment, said a faux cheery hello to Dharsheni in the living room, then headed into my bedroom to cry into my pillow.

The following morning, Isabella was returning to the UK, so Dharsheni was meeting her at Paddington to spend the day together. Casper had plans with his brother, so I found myself twiddling my thumbs and feeling sorry for myself. It was a prime example of when I would've ordinarily messaged Finn to ask if he was free for a fake date. He'd have usually turned down the offer when it was so last minute, but I didn't even attempt it that day.

While I hadn't managed to fake break up with Finn, I had made a conscious effort to tone everything down between us. I'd stopped meeting him for lunch, which was significantly easier now that we no longer worked in the same area, had no fake dates arranged for the foreseeable future, and I'd held back on messaging him. The latter was proving difficult because he was showing as much commitment to his morning commuter analyses as he did to his pornographic stick figures back in September. Avoiding messaging him also made me realise how often it was that I initiated our conversations, which was a pretty embarrassing revelation. 

I had a date with Casper planned for the Sunday, so I spent the majority of my Saturday wishing the time away. I wasn't even in the mood to cook, despite it usually being the one thing that could make me feel better, and ended up gorging on a pizza for dinner when Dharsheni messaged to say she was staying at Belle's that night. The following day, a little after eleven, Casper met me at my front door.

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