An Earnest Favour

I

"I have to remember it is not love that has hurt me; but someone who could not love me in the right way." R. YS Perez, I Hope You Fall in Love: Poetry Collection

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I.

September 29, 1809

Claire Denham was certain her arithmetic was correct. She had not needed to reach for the rags in her bottom drawer for six weeks. She was two weeks past when she had expected her monthly courses.

Claire felt a warm sense of fulfilment, bliss, as she stood in front of the mirror in her bedroom, the same room that she had once shared with both of her elder sisters. Though her stomach was still quite flat, and no one would ever guess that she was with child, she cradled her stomach protectively, knowing that she was carrying Arthur Slickson's precious son or daughter.

She could picture the beautiful child in her head. Of course, any child of Arthur's would be beautiful. Blond curls and green eyes, of course. She hoped their child did not inherit her features. A son would be tall, handsome and noble, a true gentleman. A daughter would be beautiful, elegant, and clever. She prayed the little child within her became exactly like their wonderful father.

Claire watched as colour filled her cheeks and tears filled her eyes. Lord, this had to be it! The time was finally here.

"Oh," she whispered excitedly, cupping her own cheeks as she smiled at herself. "Oh, happy day."

This coming November would mark three years. Three years since Claire and Arthur had entered into a secret courtship. It had to be kept secret as Arthur's mother was very particular about the ladies her son spent his time with. Despite her own social standing being raised with the elevation of Grace to duchess, Claire still lacked fortune. She now certainly had connections, but marriage to her would not bring land or dowry.

Arthur had told Claire as much when he persuaded her to keep their courtship quiet. Surprising his mother would not yield anything but a scandal and he would need time to encourage her towards the idea Claire.

In the meantime, both she and Arthur devised convincing cover stories for their families so that they could spend time with one another. Claire had told her mother that she had an interest in painting now that they had money enough to afford a maid to help with the household chores. Of course, Claire had no interest in painting, and had to produce an artwork every few months to keep up the ruse.

Mrs Denham always praised her, even though Claire was certain they both knew she was terrible.

Arthur Slickson had given Claire her very first kiss at the winter assembly and took pleasure in kissing her whenever he could. He had often chuckled at Claire's innocence and inexperience in the beginning, but Claire had learned, and she enjoyed feeling desired whenever Arthur's eyes found her.

Claire had thought that she loved Arthur before, but those had been the feelings of a girl. She had fallen deeply, passionately in love with Arthur during their courtship, and Arthur felt the same way about her. It was because he loved her that he kept their meetings secret. He pleased his mother by dancing with rich ladies at balls and assemblies in order to keep her on side, so that she would eventually approve of Claire. Claire had grown out of jealously and knew that nothing could come between them. With every kiss, with every touch, Arthur told Claire that he loved her.

Arthur had told Claire about the deeper intimacies of love, and how two people showed one another their affection. Claire wanted to make sure that Arthur knew exactly what was in her heart, and after months of suggesting on Arthur's part, Claire had finally agreed.