Chapter 9: Visiting hours

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As six o clock came slowly people began to enter Liv's hospital room in addition to Safaree and Nicki. The first people to arrive where Safaree and Nicki's mom (Momma Carol and Momma Beezy). They looked at their two kids cuddled holding onto their offspring and awwed at their cuteness. "So they're back together" Momma carol smiled in a happy tone. Mama Beezy nodded as she got out her phone and took a photo of the three. The flash woke Nicki and Safaree up and Nicki snuggled her head more into Safaree's chest and Safaree hugged Nicki tighter until they opened their eyes realising where the flash had come from. opened Nicki instantly hopped off of Safaree's lap. "Uhhh hi mom" Safaree and Nicki said in unison to their moms. "We were just uh, sleeping on the seat" Safaree stated making up an excuse. "Yeah Nicki agreed shyly, pointing vaguely towards the chair. "Young love" the mothers whispered. Nicki blushed and Safaree grinned sheepishly. "Um yeah this is our baby" Nicki said pointing to the small girl connected to tubes in the hospital bed. "The doctor says she isn't doing too well but I know shell pull through she's a fighter" Nicki said with watery eyes unconvinced of it herself. Mama carol and Momma Beezy sat down on both sides of Olivia. "my grandbaby" Momma Beezy said choked up as she kissed her forehead. momma Carol just held onto Livs hand and cried. Nicki looked down guilty. "Onika" Momma carol said wiping tears, " I need to talk to you outside, now" she said. Nicki felt worried as her Mom rarely spoke in that tone of voice and seemed so upset and angry.


I followed mom outside terrified. "Now I want you to tell me start to finish what happened and why Olivia is in hospital" she said calmly but sternly. I told her everything skipping out the drugs and meek. I then told her how I've been towards Liv. "Onika I raised you better than this" she said disappointedly. "I know mom I really messed up and I could end up being the cause of my childs death." I said wiping tears away. Mom brought me closer and hugged me and I hugged back crying. She rubbed my back and looked at me again. "Its okay, if you ever need me you know I'm right here? OK? Mommma loves you" she said babying me. I nodded and whipped my tears "thanks mom" I smiled as we walked back into the room. We sat down and chat amongst each other until My mom and Momma Beezy had to leave. We sat in silence until I heard footsteps leading towards our room. Jose, Sophia and their Mom Maria walked into the hospital room and placed a large bouquet of flowers on the table next to Liv. The twins looked at Liv and I heard sad sniffles coming from the two of them and every once in a while they'd turn around and mean mug me as if they knew what I'd done (they probably did). "Aww, chica" Maria said hugging me "everything will be ok I promise you" she continued in a Hispanic accent "Alonso (the twins father and Maria's husband) was away on business today but he send his love and support to you two and your family" she said. Maria and I get along extremely well and are very good friends, which is good considering our children are best friends and are constantly visiting our houses."she then proceeded to ask me if I was okay and about how upset Liv seemed the other day" and I nodded and hugged her crying slightly she hugged me back equally as tightly. "Can we speak to Liv ALONE" they asked desperately. We all dispersed leaving the room.


"Hi Liv" familiar voices said tearily. "I wanted to jump with joy and hug them tightly around the neck but I couldnt that's what makes me so upset about being like this, I don't like to hear people cry but when I'm sat here I'm forced to listen to them and not be able to comfort them. "We are so sorry for not speaking to you the other day" they sniffled. "We were trying to set up a surprise party for you but we didn't even think about how you were feeling first, and when we called again to check up it was too late" Sophia cried. "The doctor says you're most likely going to die but I know that you won't because your a fighter". At this point I was overcome with sadness, I won't die, will i?" Jose took a deep breath in. "Do you remember when the boys in 1st grade bullied me and called me a girl because i liked to wear the tutus in the dress up box, so you kicked them?" He said. I found it so funny now I think back on it, the smallest girl against the biggest boys in the year, I got 1 hour of quiet time for that but I regret none of it. "Or when we were five and that time reign and her group threw rocks at me and made fun of how I rolled my R's so you threw sand at them" she laughed. I was a violent kid with good intentions which I guess was good in some ways. "You're our best friend you can't leave us" they said sadly "we need you" they continued crying. Honestly I need them too. I heard the door open and close meaning everyone had entered again. "Are you guys okay" I heard Mom ask sympathetically. "YOU" Sophia shouted sounding as if she was crying "This is your fault" she shouted in the same heartbroken tone. "My best friend could be gone all because of you" she screamed crying. "Im sorry," mom whispered. Jose tried to comfort Sophia and by the sounds of things she ended up leaving and mom crying into my chest "I'm so sorry" Maria told Mom. "oh Liv" she cried "I really have fucked up" she said. "I wish I could just hear your tiny little voice again" she said wetting my hospital gown. I suddenly felt so guilty. But why is everyone crying? I'm the one who's trapped inside my own body, I should be the one crying and yelling (if my body would enable me to do so). But then again if it were role reversal and mom was the one in in the coma I would cry rivers too.


I cried as Safaree rubbed my arm. Soon we all fell asleep. "Excuse me ma'am and sir" a nurse tapped us in the shoulders. "Visiting times are over" she said. "No please,let me stay please just one more night" I begged sobbing. "I'm sorry ma'am but those are the guidelines" she said pityingly. I fell to the ground crying and Safaree's picked me up bridal style as tear trickled rapidly down his cheeks and took me out of the room. "It will be okay," he said. I clung onto him tighter. Our main fear is that well go and her condition will get a lot worse overnight.


No don't go, please? I thought as I heard mom and dad leave, they wanted to stay as much as I wanted them to. Soon I heard their foosteps get inaudible and all I could hear was the squeaking of nurse shoes up and down the corridor.


I drove Nic home in the car occasionally glancing at her and u noticed she looked back and blushed slightly. Im still not over Nic and I don't think I ever will be. We stopped at her house and I dropped her off, "Safaree could you stay here tonight?, I really don't want to be in that house alone at a time like this. I nodded not replying and following her into the house. We then went into the maater bedroom and sat down.


I got out a photo album and sat cross legged opening the book so Safaree could see we looked on the first page and saw Liv aged 4 sat in front of a laptop. "I remember that" Safaree began "when you were recording for Pink Friday but Liv didn't want to sit there and be quiet so you told her you'd put on her favorite show for her". "Yeah" I giggled and her cute little voice; "I see I see Mommy" I said mimicing it in a squeaky adorable tone. "Exactly" Safaree laughed. Then there was another photo of us when we took Liv to the park when she was 3 and she looked the cutest. *look at bottom two photos*. "She was a very boisterous toddler" I laughed. Safaree nodded "always moving" he chuckled. On the final page was a series of pictures of Safaree and i, one from our trip to cabo and other from when we were in hoodstarz and another from when we were having races on the mobility scooters. We froze looking at the page, I really miss Safaree and I's relationship. I abruptly closed the photo album. "So" I coughed "so" he replied. He looked on my bedside table and saw the packs of percocets and his face suddenly turned serious. "Nic what are these?" He said picking them up brow furrowed. "Ive just been taking a few" i whispered terrified. He picked them up and walked out the room and down stairs, and my heart sunk. Minutes,later I saw him bring up a pack of cranberries and almonds and put them where the pills used to be. I smiled slightly at this. "Look nic, don't do this to yourself" he said tilting my chin up "you're too beautiful" he said staring into my eyes we leaned closer and closer until our lips touched and we French kissed. We both pulled away for air in shock of what just happened. I coughed twice before saying "oh yeah well I guess we better go to bed now". "Oh. Right"Safaree said awkwardly going towards the guest room down the hall. I blushed slightly before saying "um, Safaree can you lay with me? I don't feel safe in here alone." I blushed embarrassed to say so. He nodded taking off his clothes leaving him in his and boxers and got into the bed. I then put on one of Safaree's t-shirts and a thong and got in beside him. He pulled me closer to him and I drew outlines in his chest in thought, why did I enjoy the kiss? Does he feel the same way? And if im not over Safaree why don't I just tell him? I dismissed it and snuggled into s

Safaree's chest and he pulled me close.

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