Dangerous Territory

Nearing the Border

Eren laughed with a hyper grin. "I can lift a panzer!"

Levi groaned in annoyance. "Listen, your leg needs to be checked. Go to the medic truck, get some bandages, and meet me back here. I'll try to talk to this guy." He faced the farmer. "I hope he speaks French."

Luckily, he did, and faced with either angering an entire company of drugged-up Nazis or agreeing to exchange tired but well-bred horses for the horses he had in his stables, the man easily agreed to a direct exchange. He did not have enough horses to give every soldier one, but Levi left it to the Nazis on who should get a fresh horse and which poor horses from Mina's stables would be forced to continue onward.

The farmer helped to bring out horses, and soldiers began to remove saddles, starting the exchange. Eren rode up with medical supplies crammed haphazardly into his saddle bag. Levi merely pouted at the sloppiness.

"All right, let's change that bandage on your leg."

"Oh, ja, yes, bandage. I have bandages. Change bandages."

Eren jumped off the horse and began to rapidly look around, like he needed to leap into the nearest foxhole. Levi shook his head. Of all the shitty things to happen on an already shitty trip, now he had to deal with a man so high on drugs, he could barely talk.

"Don't forget the saddle bag," Levi said, but on second thought, he grabbed the bag himself. His Tanakh was in there still, and he did not want Eren to do anything stupid with it. As he looked around, he saw one familiar face. "Hey, you! Horse-face! What the hell was your name again? Jean?"

The tall soldier with a long face turned back around. "Ja?"

Levi turned to Eren. "Listen. Can you hear me?"

"I hear everything," Eren whispered in dazed awe.

"Right," Levi mumbled. "You need to tell him to exchange the horse while I take care of your leg."

"Ja! Jean, sattel ein Pferd für mich." Saddle a horse for me. Then Eren thought for a moment. "Können Sie einen Orgasmus vom Reiten haben?" Can you have an orgasm from horseback riding?

Jean arched an eyebrow. "Vor heute hätte ich das nie geglaubt. Heute habe ich es fünfmal gesehen." Before today I would never have believed that. Today, I saw it happen five times.

Eren stared out. "Fünfmal?" Five times?

Jean scoffed. "Sind Sie in die Hose gekommen?" Did you come in your pants?

"Nein!" Eren snapped.

Levi watched on. "Is everything okay?"

"Ja. It's fine. I'm fine. I didn't. Well, I did, but it wasn't on purpose."

"What are you talking about, takhshet?"

"Nothing! Leg. Leg needs bandage."

"Try to keep focused." He walked over to a large structure, shadowy in the pre-dawn gloom. "This looks like a riding hall of some sorts." Levi pushed open the door and saw a large, dark arena. "Yeah, it's empty. This is a good spot."

"Good spot," Eren repeated, walking in and gazing around rapidly. "For what?"

"Your leg. Changing your bandage, remember?"

"Ja." Eren still fidgeted, tapping his fingers, staring intently at a pile of hay.

Levi shook his head. "Can you keep calm for just three minutes?"

"I'm trying, I'll try. Trying."

"You need to drop your trousers."

He looked up with excitement. "Bläst du mir einen?" Will you blow me?