~ It Never Should've Been...Again? ~ Sequel to It Never Should've Been ~

~ Chapter 23 - Teenage Depression ~

After my morning chat with Niall and Liam, I had stayed locked up in my room, laying on my bed thinking about Niall.

And no, I'm not going to deny it. I realized want Niall back. I truly do, I just, well, I just don't know how to do it. He thinks I hate him, yet I don't, and well, I'm just in a big pile of poop.

I mean, there's so many ways to try and get him back. I could make him jealous, talk to the boys. Or the easiest, just talk to him.

But I can't do that. I made a big mistake and I need to do it in a way that will show him how much I want him back and- wow. I sound like some obsessed ex-girlfriend right now. Something I actually am. And what I didn't account for is the fact that maybe he doesn't want me back. He's only feeling guilty for the way of saying the things he did. Maybe it's the only way his mind would allow him to break up with me.

I plopped down on my bed, the corner's of my mouth twitching, threating to start wailing.

But wait.

Why didn't I think of that before?

Before my heart could crush anymore, I pulled out my phone and started a group text, including only Liam, Louis, Zayn, and Harry.

To: Liam Payne; Louis Tomlinson; Zayn Malik; Harry Styles

I have a serious question to ask all of you and whatever you do, don't talk to Niall about this.

I took a deep breath and clicked send, watching at the message was being splayed out.

After realizing they probably had a concert at the moment, I slid my phone into my pocket and went downstairs to grab something to eat, considering it was around dinner time.

When I got downstairs, the rest of my family was sitting around the kitchen table, all contently watching me make my way into the room.

"Yes?" I asked nervously, heading to the fridge, pulling out the milk to make some cereal.

"Don't eat yet, let's talk," my dad said.

I hesitantly slid the milk back into the fridge and took a seat next to Keagan, ruffling his hair in the process.

"Stop," he whined as I took a seat.

My parents seemed to ignore what just happened and they just wanted to get down to business.

Next to me, my mom took my hand and my dad opened his mouth to talk.

"How are you?"

"Fine," I answered truthfully.

Mom and Dad shared a worried glance before leaning in closer, "Well, we don't think so. Ever since you got home, you've barely come out of your room and we think you're going through depression considering you lost Niall pretty shortly after Jayda..."

"What? No," I said, shaking my head.

"It's okay, honey, lot's of teenagers go through depression, it's not abnormal."

"But I'm not going through depression!" I yelled, slamming my fist down on the table, making it rattle.

Next to me, Keagan jumped in his seat and quickly stood up, mumbling, "I'll be outside playing." He grabbed his football and made his way out the door.

Embarrased by my outburst, I put my hands in my lap, glancing up at them every few seconds.

"Honey..."

"Mom, really, believe me. I'm not going into depression. I'm just trying to figure out what I want to do now, considering what happened. I don't know if I want to college, I mean, I want to go to college, I just don't know if I want to go yet, and I don't know if I want to try and continue my singing career. Then, yeah, the pain of Jayda and Niall is heavy, but I want to fix it."

"Fix it?" my Dad asked.

I nodded a yes.

"How?"

"Well," I started before I looked down at my hands. "I want to try and talk to Niall again, and-"

"Like, get back together with Niall?" Mom asked.

I blushed a bit, "Yeah, possibly. Like I said before, I think we both over reacted a bit."

"Are you sure?" my Dad asked, his voice getting very possesive and fatherly like.

"Positive," I answered and decided not to go into details. "And as for Jayda...I need to start talking to more people. Maybe start talking to Eleanor again." I quietly added, "She's a lot like Jayda. I'd think you'd like her."

"Honey, I don't know. Eleanor sounds lovely, but as for Niall..."

"I really want to try this, Mom. I've missed him a lot and have been feeling a lot of regret. He helped me a lot through Jayda, and I feel more connected to him more than any other girl would. Plus, he said he wants to get me a record deal with Simon, no matter what happens."

My dad spoke up, "That's great, honey, but isn't that a bit much?"

I shrugged, "I don't and won't pressure anyone into too much. I know where my limits are, I just want to create music. With Niall by my side, supporting me, if he'll allow it."

My parents looked at each other before my mom looked at me with a gentle smile. "You're an adult now, honey. We can't make choices for you, but we can give you input, which we have done. So, now it's up to you. Do whatever you want, and always know that we'll stand behind you with whatever you pick."

I grinned and stood up, kissing them both on the top of their heads before heading back to the fridge to finish what I started; getting food.

After making a bowl of cereal, I slowly clambered back up and into my room and sitting on the bed, pulling my legs up under me. When taking a bite, I placed my bowl to the side in hopes that any of the boys had replied.

My eyes widened in surprise when I realized all four of them had.

From: Harry Styles

Do whatever.

I frowned when I realized Harry was still the same. Unfortunatly.

From: Louis Tomlinson

Yeah, won't tell him....or anyone....

As for Louis, I knew he was trying to be nice, but I didn't feel like I could trust him. Seems like he hasn't changed either.

However, the other two were more promising.

From: Zayn Malik

Yeah, sure, what's up?

~~~

From: Liam Payne

Ask away.

I started to type the same reply to Liam and Zayn and sent it.

To: Zayn Malik; Liam Payne

Thanks, you two. Anyway, I was wondering...well...if Niall still has feelings for me. Because well, I still have them for him and I was wondering if I still have a chance...

I bit my lip and took another bite of my cereal, hoping that they'd reply as quick as they did the first time.

My heart fluttered a bit when my phone went off again, but then my entire body froze when I saw who was from and what is said.

From: Niall Horan

I as sure as hell still have feelings for you, Ellie, but I just can't grasp the fact that the feeling is mutual.