16: An Angel only a Mother Could Love

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I see Thomas belly flop onto an invisible surface then Ambien sticks headfirst, as if she's landed in invisible Jello. Sasuke enters the unseen substance next, feet first, sinking in with his hair trailing behind him. It is comical. I am laughing as I hit. It feels like memory foam but gives like playdough, I land in a cannonball and sink in, leaving just my head out. Miguel lands beside me, sinking in up to his chest. I try to move my limbs but they're so heavy.

"Thanks." I say. I don't know if I could have jumped on my own and it was pretty fun.

"You're welcome. I have wanted to push you off a cliff for a while now. This is just as good." He says with a stupid evil grin on his stupid sexy face. I try to move to hit him, but it's no use. Suddenly we are released and falling again. It is at most ten feet, so I just bruise my tail bone when my butt hits the ground.

I scarf down my lunch, knowing Janine will be here to ruin it soon.

"I can help you log into the school program today, if you want." Sasuke offers from beside me. I attempt to quickly swallow my food so I will not embarrass myself when I respond.

"That would be great. Thank you. Better sooner, rather than later. You probably won't be here much longer, considering how well you did today." I respond, turning slightly to face him.

"Thanks. I didn't do that great. I tripped on the tires." He chuckles at his own expense, running his hand through his beautiful long black hair.

"Don't be modest. Didn't you see Janine smiling at you like a proud mom." I insist.

"I didn't do great." Thomas grumbles. "I messed up. Why did I do that? Now it'll be even longer until I get out of here." He's staring at his tray sadly, obviously thinking about Kali.

"You did great, especially considering." I console. He just grunts, finding the will to put a fork full of food into his mouth.

"You didn't embarrass yourself much for only having been here for a few days, Sara. How did you hack the monkey bars? I have done this course, at least similar ones, a few times. I have never seen anyone do that." Miguel asks. I think this is the nicest thing he has said to me.

"I don't know. Got lucky, I guess. Maybe Janine was off with her magic today. Like the wall I am pretty sure you were not supposed to be able to break it. She was so mad." I laugh, remembering the way her nostrils flared. Scary but funny.

"My magic is as strong as ever." Janine assures, coming out of nowhere.

I sink into my seat fearful of her retribution.

"We are writing letters today. You will write a letter to a loved one. Either a friend or a family member. You can write whatever you would like, just know you'll be reading it to the group, so keep that in mind." A letter to our families. That reminds me. I have not spoken to my dad since he dropped me off. Has he tried to call? I should have called him.

She hands out pieces of paper and places the tub of crayons in the center of the table. She shoots us with bolts, but we cannot have pencils. Ridiculous. That reminds me Miguel has my art supplies still. I should get it back from him. I glare at him. He catches me and gives me a confused look. Is he going to pretend like he doesn't have it? I want my art book back. He smiles at me mockingly. Jerk.

I try to write a letter to my dad but all I can say is 'I'm sorry'. Not a great letter. I flip the page over.

Dear Mom,

I love you. I'm sorry I hurt you. You hurt me first. I am not a monster or a demon. I know it is not your fault. You have a mental illness. It is not my fault either, that I am a half angel. I am your daughter, I just needed you. Needed you to be there at my dance recital, to comfort me when I was scared or hurt. To not look at me like that. Like I am a monster. If you knew I'm an angel, not a monster, would you love me then?

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