I can't live without you

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Eli POV

The door opened and nick came in. I stood by the window looking out at the sky trying to figure out a way to get nick to get rid of the... thing. I can't lose him, not again. And if he dies I don't know what will become of me.

Knowing how I was when he didn't have his memories killed me. I don't even want to know what I'd be like if he actually died because of me. Because I was stupid enough to think that nothing would happen because I'm dead. Obviously I didn't think about it how lucifer told me. Having a low sperm count to humans seems impossible but is still possible.

"At least we don't have to adopt anymore." Nick tried to lighten up the mood.

"Don't joke like that." I growled out."

"Eli-," he sighed.

"Don't." I cut him off. "Don't do this to me. Nick if you have it then you die. If I was the way I was when you didn't have memories of me than how the fuck do you think I'll be if you die. Not only that but you'll die because of me." I cried out.

"Carl said-," he started.

"What Carl says doesn't mean shit. You'll die nick, and for what? Because you can't get rid of it. Please, just do it. I won't sit back and watch you die because of me." I sobbed.

We both stood there with tears streaming down our cheeks. There is no way I will sit back and wait for the time when nick gives birth and dies. That won't happen, I won't let it. Hopefully he will agree to just get rid of it.

"Please nick. I can't live without you." My voice cracked.

"And I won't be able to live with myself if I get rid of it knowing this could be my only shot at having a baby of my own with the man I love. And I sure as hell won't go on with my life knowing it was you who made me do it." He spat out and walked over to the bed.

"You can stay in a spare room tonight." Was all he said while laying on his side facing away from me.

"Don't fucking turn away from me." I yelled.

"Then don't tell me to get rid of my only child when you know full well that I want one." He sat up and looked at me. "I don't care if it kills me in the process as long as I get to leave a part of me behind. Especially knowing I'd leave it with one parent that will love it because it's apart of someone he loves. Clearly I got that fucking wrong and chose to be with someone who doesn't care about what I want and can only have so much of." Nick cried and laid back down.

"Baby please-," I started.

"You can sleep in a spare room for a couple nights. I don't want you near me right now." He sniffled.

"No. When I married you i chose that because I can't be away from you. That goes with being in the same room as you. I won't sleep away from you at all, even if we do argue." I sniffled.

"Then I'll leave." Nick got up and went to leave.

I crossed the room with long strides and grabbed his wrist. I pulled nick to my chest and pressed my lips to his. Even in an argument he still kissed me back like it was the first time. When we pulled away, I placed my forehead on his and made sure to make eye contact.

"Don't you ever fucking walk away from me. You don't get to make demands to me at all. I don't care if we have an argument we stay in the same bed. I don't leave and you certainly don't get to leave. Am I understood?" I stated with a small growl.

"Then you don't get to tell me what I can and can't do with my body. It's mine and you don't get to control me." He spat out.

"What if it was me? What if it was all the other way around and you had to sit and watch me die because of something you did. How would you feel if you lost me?"

"I'd be devastated. But if roles were reversed then I'd take care of the kid knowing it was your only shot at having a baby with the one you love. So don't you dare turn this on me. News flash Eli, I'm having the baby wether you like it or not. You can't tell me otherwise."

"Nick I can't watch you die because of me." I muttered.

"It's not on you. It's on me. In your vows you said that I brought light into the darkness, this baby will do the same in my place." He sighed.

With a sigh, I nodded and closed my eyes. I felt nick place a hand on my cheek and connect our lips in a slow kiss.

"I love you Eli, forever and always. Remember that." Nick pecked my lips again.

"I love you to, forever and always."

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