letter #9: fast

743 51 134
                                    

11/13

Soobinnie,

Oh god, everything happened so fast. I think I lost him... I tried to protect him. Please don't hate me. He pushed me away to save me. I'm so sorry, Bin, but I need you to find Beomgyu and tell him what happened. I already sent Beomgyu a letter as well.

We were just walking through the forest, trying to get to our next destination, pushing further north. Taehyun was right behind me, both of us holding onto our rifles as we slowly trudged through the rough terrain. We didn't even know that they were there too, well, until they popped out from behind trees. There were four of them and I quickly lifted my gun up, hesitating as I already heard gunshots coming from the rest of our group behind me. I didn't notice the person standing next to me, holding their gun up to my head as I obliviously took shots in the opposite direction.

Taehyun saw me and yelled my name, but it was completely drowned out from how loud our rifles were. He shoved me out of the way, causing me to fall on the ground as I heard two loud shots coming from where I once stood. I picked my head up and didn't see Taehyun. I realized that everyone ceased fire as I yelled for him. I heard whimpering a few feet away, so I quickly went there, worried when I saw him on the ground, clutching onto his shoulder. I noticed his hand was covered in blood and immediately knelt down next to him, putting pressure onto his bullet wound as I tried to tell him everything was ok.

I took the gauze pads out of the pocket of my vest, putting them against his wound to try to stop the bleeding. I quickly ripped off a piece of my tee-shirt to tie around his arm, causing him to scream in pain. Our commander yelled at me to carry him back to our barracks, which was over a mile away, since that's where the closest medical tent was. I picked him up, an arm around his torso and underneath his knees and started running, leaving his rifle behind while mine was slung over my shoulder. I told him to put his arm on my shoulder, trying to get the bleeding to stop as I desperately ran to get him medical attention as fast as I could. I noticed his eyes fluttering, probably going in and out of consciousness, so I said to him, "Hey. You have to stay awake. Stay with me."

It broke my heart that the only thing he said to me was, "Tell Beommie that I love him."

I shook my head as I replied, "No. You're going to tell him yourself." I ran into the medical tent, screaming for someone to help us. His eyes were closed as I laid him down on a table and the doctors made me leave. That's the last time I saw him.

I stood outside the tent for a few minutes, running my hands full of blood through my hair, not knowing what to do. I was waiting for a while until one of the doctors came out of the tent, looking at me with a confused face. He asked why I hadn't left to go back to our group. I asked him how Taehyun was, but he didn't tell me. I don't know why he was so demanding about me going back to our group. He wouldn't tell me how Taehyun was, and I couldn't do anything. I'm such an idiot. I've been trying to find him for the last couple hours, and nobody knows where he is. It's like he never existed.

I'm so fucking stupid. Binnie, I tried to save him, but what if I didn't do enough? What if he's already gone? Why is nobody telling me anything? Why can't I find him? It's driving me crazy that I can't do anything. God, Bin, I think I lost him. And it's all my fault. He should've just let me get shot instead of him; I have no idea why he did that.

I'm so sorry, love. I'm so sorry.

  I have to finish this... For Taehyun-ssi.

With Love,

Yeonjunie

Coming Home || YeonbinWhere stories live. Discover now