letter #6: sorry

685 56 28
                                    

9/5

Soobinnie,

I'm sorry. You don't understand how deeply sorry I am to tell you this, but Taehyun heard that they're going to be moving us to the front line. We heard they're retreating back to the North and we have to capitalize on the opportunity. We don't know when we're gong to leave, but I won't be able to call you anymore. I won't be able to hear your soothing voice for a while. I don't know how long it's going to be until I can talk to you again.

We've been here for a little over six weeks, but it's felt like years. I hope this war will be over soon. I hope Taehyun and I will at least be put in the same group. I still don't know all the details yet, but I'm going to call you about it later tonight. Taehyun said that I can still send letters while on the front line, but I don't know how often I'll actually be able to.

I hate this. I hate being away from you. I hate making you worry about me. I hate that I have to tell you this, but I don't know if I'll be able to write to you or talk to you again. I know you probably don't want me to say this, but I have to, just in case it's the last time I'll be able to:

I love you. If anything happens, always remember that. I'm so deeply in love with you that it's hard to describe. I'm not saying I will, but if I go, don't let me hold you back. I want nothing but pure happiness for you. Go out on dates, have fun, and don't let me be the reason you're holding back. I love you so much that if this is too hard for you, I want you to leave. I want you to be able to smile and be happy, and if that means you need to be on your own, I'll be nothing but supportive. I don't want to be the reason for your tears, your sadness, your weakness. If you're going to be happier on your own, just know that it's ok. Whatever you need to do to be happy, do it. And if that means leaving me, then I think you should do it. Please, just be happy because your happiness is the most important thing to me. I'm so in love with you. So much that I'm willing to let you go. I miss you and I love you.

With Love,

Yeonjunie










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Bin?

Hey, Yeonnie... Awww... I miss you so much.

I miss you too, Binnie.

How's your training going?

I still feel a bit out of place... Never really imagined myself doing this.

Does this mean you're gonna be super buff when you come back?

*sigh* Baby, I have to tell you something.

What? I-Is something wrong?

Taehyun-ssi heard that they're gonna send us to the front line because we need to push north... On the border near Seoul.

What? No, no, no, no... Y-You're supposed to train for another two weeks a-and then you were only supposed to be in the background of the fighting a-and... Th-This wasn't supposed to happened.

I know, I know... I'm so sorry. There's nothing I can do.

No, no, no, no... I-I'm gonna call them a-and I'm gonna fix this, ok?

Soobinnie, it's gonna be ok, I promise.

No, no, no... I-I'm gonna fix this a-and I'm gonna make sure you come home—

Binnie... I love you, ok? Please remember that.

*sniff* You are not doing this right now.

I love you so much... So, so, so much.

Y-You can't g-go... *sniff*... P-Please, Junie.

Don't cry... Please, it breaks my heart to hear you upset... I'm so sorry.

Y-You have to c-come back *sniff*.

Love, I promise, I'll always be with you... I just needed to hear your voice.

*sniff* P-Please, don't s-say goodbye.

I-I don't know when I'll be able to talk to you again—

You have thirty seconds left in your call.

J-Jun...

S-Soobin, I'm so in love with you *sniff*... Just please know that, ok? I'll never give up and I'm gonna get back to you... Somehow.

J-Junie, I-I love you s-so much *sniff*.

I love you, I love you, I love you, I—

I'm sorry, the time is up on your call.

Yeonjun rested his forehead on the wall as he listened to the constant beep from the phone, while he quietly said, "Bye, my love." Before putting the phone back on the hook

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