letter #2: beach

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7/27

Soobin, My Love,

It's been two weeks since I last saw you. I miss your gorgeous face. I miss the way you tuck the loose strands of my hair behind my ear. I miss holding you in bed at night, feeling your soft breath on my neck as you slowly drift off to sleep. I miss hearing your little giggles when I'd tell you a bad joke. I miss your small gasps whenever I'd suddenly hug or kiss you, knowing how sensitive you are to touch. I miss the way we'd talk at night until we'd fall asleep. I miss hearing your voice, your loving, angelic, soothing voice. I miss waking up next to you and our morning cuddles. I miss the way your eyes would sparkle whenever I tell you how incredibly beautiful you are. I miss the way you'd hit my chest when I make you blush from my constant compliments. I could keep going forever, but my heart is starting to break again. I constantly remember that scene at the train station. It plays in my head like a movie. I keep hearing your voice when you shakily told me everything's going to be ok. God, I miss you.

The food is at least edible. Nothing like the way you cook. I would do anything for one of your home-cooked meals right now. Everyone here is so strict and orderly as well. They check our rooms every day to make sure it's not messy or we're not sneaking anything in. Even if one shirt is out of place, you get an hour of punishment, which is just being on the clean-up crew after dinner. It doesn't seem that bad, but all the new draftees got a week before they started giving out punishments. Although, I haven't gotten any punishment yet.

The training is hard as well. We have to wake up at 06:00 and it's lights out by 21:00. Well, except for Sunday. That's the only day we have off, so a lot of people throw parties. I feel like that's kind of inappropriate, though. We're training for a war where millions of people are dying, and they're out here partying? I mean, I guess they're just trying to blow off steam. But, you know how much I hate parties. Not that I know a single person here anyway.

My room is pretty nice. Kind of like a single college dorm room. About that same size. I put a picture of us on the wall next to my bed. God, I love that picture. It was the day I asked you to marry me. Do you remember how beautiful the weather was? Sun shining bright without a cloud in sight. As we looked up from the ocean, another clear blue sea was in the sky. I remember holding your hand as we walked along the beach, breathing in the smell of sea salt. I remember the seagulls screaming and the waves crashing as the wind blew our hair back. You looked stunning, even though you said the wind was ruining all the work you put into your hair. I remember your outfit, a black sweater with simple light blue jeans and a pair of black boots. An outfit so simple that it's amazing how completely incredible it looked on you. But, who am I kidding... You always look incredible. I remember the way you clutched onto my bicep when the water got too close. I remember switching places with you so that you wouldn't get hit by the waves on accident, but I think you thought I was going to try and playfully push you closer to the water. I remember kissing your cheek, reassuring you that everything was alright.

I wish so badly that I could relive that day again. To listen to you say "yes" as I held the ring between my fingers, not caring about the sand making my pants dirty. To hug and kiss you again as we cried together out of pure happiness. Nothing else mattered other than you in that moment. I remember how you pulled your phone out of your pocket after we messily wiped the tears off our faces. We smushed our cheeks together to take a quick picture, showing off the engagement ring I had just given to you. I remember the smile on your face when you sent it to your parents, my parents, my sisters, and your brother, knowing it was going to make them so happy.

I read something that said if you want to remember something, don't take a picture of it because the memory in your mind won't last as long. But I think that's a total lie. Just glancing at this picture takes me back to that day. The way I held you close because you were getting chilly. The way our lips connected for a messy, but loving, kiss with tears streaming down our faces. The way you wrapped your arms around my neck to pull me even closer as I kept my hands on your waist. Looking at this picture brings me back to you for a split second, and that's exactly what I need. That's all I ever needed, my love. You.

With Love,

Yeonjunie

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