𝕀 𝔸𝕞 𝕆𝕟𝕖.

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I felt a kiss. 

I abruptly sat straight and snapped my head towards Danish. He was looking at me, worried and tensed. The goofiness I saw in his eyes a few minutes before was replaced with something, something I couldn't figure out. And I was pretty sure it wasn't lust. 

I was looking at him with my lips apart as my breathing was being unsteady, just like the first days of meeting him. The light displaying from the wide flat screen fell on the side of his face. His eyes, his dark brown eyes were reflecting the intense romantic scene between the two lovers in the movie. I noticed the pace of his breath changing, being like mine, making us on par. I wasn't sure if it was a few seconds or minutes that passed by, with us looking at each other without blinking our eyes. 

Danish slowly leaned forward without breaking our eye contact. I could feel his hot breath passing between his lips and feathering mine. He closed his eyes, making me follow him, as I waited for his thin lips to be pressed on mine. 

But as our lips brushed, my eyes shot wide open again and I moved back. He came to a halt and opened his eyes, as he felt the absence of my lips. 

He saw me, leaned backwards on my hands, my chest heaving up and down. My palms were sweaty, making my grip on the leather couch slightly slippery. I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat while looking at Danish, who was tensed and worried and staggered than before. I was pretty sure that my reaction came as a bombshell. 

"Wh-what happened, Elka? Are you alright?" he asked me. 

I broke my gaze from him and looked down. 

"Elka?" he called me, bringing his hand to caress my face which I jerked away. 

He sat straight and I swear, he couldn't be anymore shocked. 

"Elka, I'm- I'm sorry. I di-didn't mean to. I'm sorry," he apologized. 

I couldn't look at him anymore so I just kept my eyes down, trying not to meet his. 

"Elk-"

"I think you should go now, Danish," I said, cutting him off. 

He looked at me with knitted eyebrows and asked, "Wh-what?"

"Don't make me repeat it," I said, clenching my fists that were now resting on my lap after I wiped the sweaty palms on my pajama pants.

He looked at me and before he could say anything, I said with a high voice, "Just go Danish, please. Leave!"

Danish swallowed the lump in his throat, making his Adam's apple bounce. He pushed his hair backwards and took a deep breath before nodding and saying, "Ok."

He got up from the couch, took his jacket which was lying on the armrest and stood there without moving an inch. I didn't spare him a glance even though I could feel his eyes on me. I covered my face with my hands that were resting on my knees, hoping that he would walk away soon. I didn't want to see his face. 

Not because he tried to kiss me, but because I didn't want to see how hurt he was. 

"I'm sorry, Elka. I really am," he said one last time and walked towards the door. 

My face was still covered as I heard the front door open and close after a few seconds. I heard him starting his bike and rode off, the sound of his bike's engine being faint to my ears.

I opened my eyes and looked straight at the T.V. I saw Ryan Gosling walking away from Michelle Williams as she severed all ties with him, putting an end to the sui generis love they had. A tear rolled down my cheek as I felt what I was seeing right in front of me was reflecting what happened to me right now. 

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