Well of Despair

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How could you break a bond so strong and leave me standing so lost  and alone. Once again I remain in a station of my own subconcious, over powering my soul in an utter state of confusion.

Thoughts of love, thoughts of loss. All I have achieved is all that I have squandered once more.

A dream just out of reach, reflections of the lives I've lived. Reflections that slowly become reality. Still I wonder what is to become of my tattered heart. So distorted. Fiercly protective of what is mine yet so willing to give it away for nothing.

To win I most lose or is it to lose I must win? A game of chance, so illusive, so alluring, so tempting.

Like the drug itself, you must know your limits. How far can we push such addictions. Where do our vices draw they final line. What if we walk past that line. Will that put me over the edge? Or is that the game?

A test of fate. Distortion. Thoughts of love, thoughts of a coming loss. All I achieve and gain I will surely lose in the end. Where does it end. How far can I go?

I will walk away with memories of strings. Possibilities all drowning in the well of despair. The strings being pulled like that of a marionette. The walls crumbling, my protective barrier shattering to pour the contents of my soul upon the cold pavement of lonliness. I stand and watch helplessly as the world crumbles around me, under a brilliant sky of anger and oppression, powerless in an uncontolled place.

Disillusioned. How does it feel to see my fire grow stronger and brighter? Not with hurt and anger, but with peace.

Surrender. The drug invades my soul on a direct line through my veins, as the chemical takes over.

Addiction. I stop to think of what my no longer remorseful feelings will become tomorrow. I am throwing myself back into the well. So enticing. Feelings of defeat and desire and more confusion. Everything I win, I lose.

 So warped now are the reflections of the worlds I used to know, becoming all too real whilst in the middle of a dream like realm. I close my soul. Rememberance refuses to save me, instead condemning me to darkness in the well as I continue to fall. Is there a bottom, I dont care, I fall. Forced to descend in this twisted game of love.

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