She reads once again, as if for the very first time she is ever seeing the words truly formed. She is worried and sad, she is torn and easily distracted from her true tasks. She is selfish and refusing to let me come back. Even though for now she is stronger than me, I somehow refuse to idly sit by and watch her destroy me and steal from me the only thing I take pleasure in. .In her desperate attempt to expel me from her life she neglected to see that I am mearly here because she called on me.
She had to step forward and preside over emotion, possibly because she asked me to come and take away her pain. Oh lift me from the well of despair she cried. So I fed her from this chalice of lies and deciet that makes me whole. I nursed her and made her weak. I fed her of sorrow, grief, and loss. I grew thirsty and drank up her tears. I held on to her mistakes temporarily to later face as I helped her built up more. As I grew stronger with each passing regret. In her With my strength and cruelty she conquered all fear. She thought she could keep me at bay but was blinded by her own weakness... ME!
She found the power once and thats all it took. See Im really quite meager if her will is strong. She said her goodbyes, thanked me gently and lay me down to rest, thinking I would leave her and she could move on. She starves me now while I lie in wait for a day to grow near when she will look for me again and find me still at her side. I whisper to her quietly, reminding her of the fiun we had together. When she is sad, I promise I can take it away again, she knows I can. sometimes she hears me and I see the look in her eye. I know it wont last but I hope that it will, so I try again again and again. I yell at her but she only works harder. Somedays she forgets that I am still here. I wait and I want for her to forget completely... I will be ready to quickly jump in. I anticipate her failure for only then do I succeed. She knows I will ravage her life if she lets me take over again, but she will forget and I will relish the day.
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Obsessions of an addictRandom
Compilation of writings relating to my addiction and the struggles to overcome it. It's important to know that NONE of my writing came to fruition during my active addiction. In other words, NOTHING I share here was written under the influence of dr...