I awoke to the familiar sound of various vehicles speeding past my window, as if not getting to their destinations immediately would be the difference between life and death. I then Pulled my duvet over my head in a failed attempt to block out the sound of modern civilization I curl up into my silky blanket on my seemingly cloud like mattress in an endeavour to fall back into a peaceful slumber, only to be interrupted by my alarm clock. I sighed knowing that I had to get out of my cocoon of pillows and soft blanket. I reach over to my phone and press 'snooze' as I did everyday and reached over for my glasses, but didn't put them on. Instead I just laid back into my mattress and stared at the empty ceiling, lost in thought. This had become a very frequent occurrence lately, simply laying down looking at the white ceiling and prepping myself for the day ahead.
My alarm went off, again. The loud beeping pulled me out of my semi-conscious state by spitting me back into reality, the reality I dreaded to enter. I sighed yet again, put my glasses on after swinging my legs off of then bed, struggling to find the motivation to actually get up and do something productive. Eventually finding one last strand of hope and positivity I lazily stand up simultaneously scooping up my phone from my bedside cabinet and sleepily walked through the front room into the kitchen.
It was quite lonely in this small flat to be honest, the only thing that kept me company was my cute stuffed lion but sometimes I needed more, sometimes I wished I had someone that I could talk to, someone that would listen and love me unconditionally. Isn't that what everyone wants? Sure I have my subscribers but I don’t actually know them. It’s quite sad knowing that so many people know me but I can’t even put a face on their names, especially because if it wasn’t for them, I probably wouldn’t still be here.
I turned the kettle on and started to prepare a cup of tea, as I did everyday around this time in my very repetitive life. I then made my way over to the living room and sat on the couch, just looked blankly at the wall blocking out all noise except the rhythmic sound the almost boiling water coming from the kitchen. I heard the familiar click of the kettle telling me that it had boiled. I stood up and hastily dragged myself into the kitchen again and finished preparing my tea, then resumed my position on the couch. I settled my tea on the table and grabbed the TV remote.
After finishing my tea and watching half a dare I say dramatic episode of American Horror Story, I turn off the TV and stroll into the bathroom. I turned the shower on and fiddled with the temperature until I was satisfied. I then quickly got undressed and hopped into it without a second thought. The warmth of the water was a nice change to the cold British winter I had become custom to. This created small moment of tranquillity as I felt water run through my ebony hair and down my body. Once doing the usual body cleanse I stepped out of the shower still intoxicated by the strawberry body wash that I have become obsessed with. I reached over to the towel rack and my favourite towel around my waist slowly walked over to the mirror hanging off of the wall only a few metres away. I look into the mirror barely able to see myself due to the condensation as I rested my hands on the sink leaned my body weight onto them. I didn’t know why it did this, I just have moments where I feel the need to pull myself together or just process what is going on at the time, for me it was normal although it seemed to happen every few hours or so. I took another deep breath and turned around to grab my PJ’s, threw them into the washing pile that had seemed to have been big enough to inhabit several dirty washing monsters that could awake at anytime. I knew I had to wash them at some point, but I had put it off so long it would take hours to finish and I just couldn’t be bothered.
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