witness || h.s.|| ON HOLD

thirty-three || breaking and entering and leaving

the song for this chapter is "Off To The Races," by Lana Del Rey :)

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My old man is a bad man

But I can't deny the way he holds my handAnd he grabs me, he has me by my heart

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    Tate

       The longer the night went on, the less talkative I became. We had dinner that Niall and Abel had prepared together. It was quite good, a casserole of some sort. I suppose when you have to be on the road and in the shadows as much as they were, you had to learn how to cook for yourself. I wasn't complaining one bit, I would much rather have a home-cooked meal than takeout. I never knew how to describe it, other than there was something about watching people actually prepare the food that seemed to make it taste better because you saw firsthand all of the work that went into it. 

    We all chatted for a bit and mindlessly watched the TV, but I wasn't really paying attention. As the night went on, all I could think about was that with each minute that passed, it was growing closer and closer to when the boys would leave. And this mission was obviously very personal to me, seeing as they were literally going to be breaking into my aunt and uncle's house.

    I just hoped and prayed that they wouldn't do anything out of the ordinary tomorrow. I know that everyone had been instructed by Harry not to harm anyone, but I really didn't know if I fully believed that if something happened, and they showed up early, that Will would be able to follow those rules.

    I was immensely grateful that he had decided to at least begin making an effort to not be a complete and total ass to Harry and me, but I still didn't fully trust him. I think it would be rather naive of me to just assume that he had changed his mind about what he thought of me completely within the span of an hour and a half.

    It was around midnight when all of the boys finally began to disperse. I said goodnight to all of them before going into the kitchen to get a glass of water, I could feel Harry's eyes on me, but I chose not to say anything until we got to my room. 

    I walked up the stairs alone, and in a way, I was sort of glad for those few brief moments of solitude. I couldn't help but blush as I walked into my room, my cheeks feeling hot as I relived the earlier events of today in my mind. 

   Harry had always been attractive to me, even when I couldn't stand him. It would be dumb to try and dispute that he was extremely good looking. But today, he had been the sexiest person I had ever met. I could have guessed that he was sexually experienced, but he took on a whole other side earlier, one that I never imagined I would be so in to. 

   It's not like I had no experience, but I didn't have a lot. I had nothing against anyone who wanted to do sexual things, nor who they chose to do them with. I think that if something makes you happy, and it isn't harmful to you or others, then you should do it. Life is too short to worry about what other people will think about you, and besides, they are all probably too busy worrying the same thing.

    But for me, I just had never been super into random flings and hookups. There wasn't some deeply rooted cause for this, it just had never particularly drawn me in. Perhaps that's because I hadn't met my type yet. I had a few past boyfriends whom I had obviously found attractive, and with whom I had done sexual things with, but none of whom made me feel the way that Harry did. I always told myself that I was into the more quiet type of guy. Not necessarily a goody-two-shoes kind of guy, but a nice guy, who would rather stay in and watch a movie instead of going out to a bar or something.