Death of the Short Story

Cigarette

I inhaled deeply, my fingers gently holding the stick to my lips, as I felt the smoke enter my lungs. It wasn't like myself to smoke as much as I already had today, but it had been a long week. Blowing out the gray colored smoke I felt my sore and tense muscle relax and for the first time this week I felt calm. You might be wondering what could make a middle class, straight A, high schooler from Susquehanna County, so rigid and to answer that I'd say a lot. Sure, I don't have it bad as some people, but that don't mean I don't get as stressed.

I lowered the cigarette back down as I leaned back against the brick wall of the schoolhouse. No one was here at this time of day, so I had no worry of being caught by anyone important. My classes ended about an hour after noon and my Ma didn't leave her work until three, so I always ended up staying at the school until she could come get me. I live a good half hour away and my Ma didn't want me walking for that long alone, so I was forced to wait. I didn't mind though, I liked being alone, gave me time to think. My home wasn't large like other, only having two small bedrooms, a bathroom, and a kitchen. My Ma made good money, but it still wasn't enough to afford us anything fancy.

My Pa ran out on us a couple of months after I was born, claiming to my already struggling Ma that he wasn't set out to be a father. Ma never talked about him much but would answer my questions about him if I ever asked. According to her I looked a lot like him, same dark hair, nose, and eyes. I didn't want to be like him though, he was mean and brooding according to the locals who knew him, never liking whatever situation life put him in. He just liked to complain without ever doing anything about it. It was no secret to his friends and family that he hated Susquehanna County and was itching to leave it, but he never had any money to do so. His own parents pushed him into marriage around my age, which only added to his bitterness, and only two years later he was riding the back of his friends Model T with only sixty cents in his pocket, leaving behind his new born and heartbroken wife in Susquehanna County.

My Ma being the determined woman she was, set her own emotions aside and kept me alive herself. As I a kid I never really took the time to see the toll life had my Ma, but I suppose no kid at that age does. However, as I got older I began to see how her shoulders sagged, the dark circles under her eyes getting darker as the years passed, how her voice was always tired, yet she never failed to give me a hot meal at the end of the day.

The cool fall air caused goosebumps to appear on the back of my neck, which in turn made me bring my limbs closer into myself. It my own fault I had forgotten my jacket at home, but it wouldn't have made much difference. After taking another puff from the cigarette I pulled myself off the ground and looked around the school yard. It wasn't a big schoolhouse only a few rooms. Across the street the younger kids' schoolhouse, stared back at mine. They had been let out earlier than us and it was always a funny sight to see their faces peeking through the windows, surveying what the older kids were up to. I can remember back to those days with wonder, recalling how I wanted more than anything to grow up and be like the boys I saw in window. Confident and popular, but now I realize how ironic it is. When I was little all I wanted was to be older and now that I am, what I wouldn't give to go back.

Letting the cigarette rest in between my lips, I trekked around the side of my schoolhouse, not really knowing why. I had been doing a lot of thinking this week, which I suppose is why I've been so tightly wound this week. I can't help it though. After making it around the back I took comfort in the sight. Behind my schoolhouse sat a large oak tree, that had been planted there before anyone of us had been born. Its branches barely scrapped the side of the roof and it wasn't uncommon to hear squirrels traveling between the two surfaces. Underneath the tall tree was a stone bench, something that the very first people in Susquehanna County had placed there. It was carved and even though it was stone, was comfortable. The tree supplied shade and the trunk took most of the cold breezes, but aloud just enough for it to be pleasant.