Taken

Nightmare

Xingchen was in Hui's room again, his wrists were tied and his legs were spread wide apart by Hui's hands. He was crying hard, and he was gasping for air as the man pounded into him. He yelled out, "No! Stop! Please Hui!"
Hui only went harder and fasted earning a pained scream, "You brought this on yourself, don't forget that."
Xingchen clenched his teeth and tried to endure the pain but it only grew larger. He screamed loudly and his eyes shot open.
He sat up with a start and felt his cheeks stained with tears, he looked around and saw Xue Yang asleep. He laid back down and cuddled close to the man, he clung to him like a baby would cling to their mother.
Xingchen cried silently but accidentally let out a whimper, Xue Yang's eyes fluttered open at the noise, "Xingchen...are you alright?" The man shook his head, Xue Yang was wide awake now. "What happened bambi? Are you alright?"
"He-he h-hurt me," Xingchen sobbed quietly.
"Oh bambi," Xue Yang pulled him in a tight embrace, "it's alright, you're safe. I'm right here."
Xingchen cried and cried into the man's chest, "Does it ever s-stop hurting?"
"No, but you are just making room for it. Try to think about getting better and forgetting the past, just like we did before. Find something that helps you forget about everything, I hate seeing you like this," Xue Yang said honestly.
Xingchen calmed down and nodded, "Al-alright," he said, "I'll-I'll stay here with y-you then."
"Well you can't stay here forever can you? You have to do something you love, like for me it would be thinking about you. Or cleaning, I never told you this but I love cleaning," Xue Yang said chuckling.
"R-really?" Xingchen asked his voice soft.
"Yeah," Xue Yang replied, "now let's sleep. I'll tell you more about it tomorrow."
"Mn," Xingchen closed his eyes and smelled the sweet scent of Xue Yang's clothes. He slowly fell asleep with the happy memories of him and Xue Yang.

It was a few days since Xingchen had the nightmare, and ever since he hasn't had any. He was acting strange though, "Xue Yang!"
"Ye-" Xue Yang turned around and was interrupted by Xingchen who jumped on him. "Woah! Calm down bambi," he laughed.
"I missed you," Xingchen nuzzled the man's neck and sniffed it, "you smell nice."
"I was out on a walk and I ate a few berries on the way back," Xue Yang said and tried to set Xingchen down, but the man wrappes his legs around Xue Yang's waist tightly. "Bambi, I need to go practice."
"No, you're staying with me," Xingchen said hugging his husband tighter.
"Xue Yang!" Wei Ying ran up to the couple, "Didn't you say we were going to practice?"
     "I did, but Xingchen wants me to stay," Xue Yang said smiling fondly.
     "Uncle, if you don't let him go I'm going to steal him and never give him back," Wei Ying threatened jokingly.
     "No! You have Hanguang Jun, why do you have to take what's mine too?!" Xingchen yelled and clung to Xue Yang tighter.
     "Bambi, relax he isn't going to take me away," Xue Yang said glaring at Wei Ying.
     "Yeah, I was just kidding," Wei Ying said apologetically.
      "Are you sure?" Xingchen asked.
     "I'm sure," Xue Yang said, "now can you get down?"
     Xingchen pouted but reluctant got down, he grabbed Xue Yang's arm and hugged it close to him. He glared at Wei Ying like a child who laughed, "Uncle, you look like a child," the man laughed.
    "No I don't! And don't call me Uncle," Xingchen said.
     "What do I call you then?" Wei Ying asked.
     "Bambi," Xue Yang broke in, "me and Wei Wuxian need to go. Can you behave for me?"
     "But why? I don't want you to leave!" Xingchen said hugging his arm tighter.
     "I won't be gone long, just go back to the house and wait for me there. You can make some food and read something if you'd like," Xue Yang said.
     Xingchen nodded slowly and let go of the man's arm, "Alright," he whispered, "but don't be gone long please."
     "I won't," Xue Yang said and left with Wei Ying leaving Xingchen alone.
TW!! Self Harm
Xingchen went back to their house near Cloud Recesses and began to read a book silently, he probably thinks I'm annoying. What if he doesn't love me? What if he thinks I'm a burden? I'm so childish and stupid, why did I think he would want me? The thoughts ran through his head as he went to the kitchen.
He cut an apple and looked at the knife, what if I just...? No! You aren't going to stab yourself! He looked down at his arm and stomach, he had started cutting yesterday and he felt better every time he did it.
A few more cuts won't do too much, besides it feels nice, he thought and rolled up his sleeve he was about to press the knife to his wrist when he heard the door open.
He quickly put the knife down and hid his arm. "Who is it?"
"Sorry bambi, I forgot to get something," it was Xue Yang.
"Oh, alright," Xingchen turned around ate a piece of the apple.
"Alright, I'm leaving now. I love you," Xue Yang pressed a kiss on Xingchen's cheek and left.
Xingchen sighed, I'm sorry I keep lying to you. He would act childish because it reminded him of the times when he was happy and carefree. But he would only act that way in public, in private he was traumatized about what happened and the only way he felt better was by hurting himself.
He went to his room and laid down on the bed, he closed his eyes and felt tears fall. He silently cried and memories came rushing back, memories of being raped and tortured.
Xingchen pressed his face into the pillow and let out a muffled scream. He was tired of everything, tired of having the memories, tired of faking everything, tired of living even.
The sun was setting and Xue Yang still hadn't arrived yet. Xingchen was starting to get worried and anxious, he paced around the room and rolled up his sleeves because of the heat.
"Bambi!" Xue Yang called out from outside, "Are you still here?"
Xingchen smiled widely and ran outside and threw his arms around Xue Yang's neck, "Where were you?" He asked.
"Sorry, they wanted another round," Xue Yang said, "did you make food?"
"Uh no, sorry," Xingchen said guiltily.
"No it's alright, come one let's go make some," Xue Yang said and took his hand going into the kitchen.
They began to make soup and Xue Yang suddenly looked down at Xingchen's arm, he saw some scars and fresh wounds, "Bambi...what happened to your arm?" He asked looking up into Xingchen's eyes.
Xingchen looked down and his eyes widened, he quickly used his sleeve to cover his arm, "Nothing, I just bumped into a tree and scratched myself."
"That doesn't look like a tree scratch, what happened?" Xue Yang asked again.
"It's nothing!" Xingchen yelled suddenly.
"It's not nothing! You're injured and I need to know what happened!" Xue Yang yelled back.
"I hurt myself on accident that's all!" Xingchen yelled.
"No you didn't! Someone hurt you and I need to know who!" Xue Yang said, "That looks like it was purposely done!"
"Fine it was me!" Xingchen yelled tears in his eyes, "Are you happy now? I did it! I hurt myself!"
"You what?" Xue Yang's voice lowered into a whisper and his eyebrows knitted.
"I hurt myself, not that you care but I do," Xingchen said and looked down with tears falling down his face.
"I do care! I care so much about you that it hurts, now tell me why do you hurt yourself?" Xue Yang asked, he was having trouble keeping himself composed.
"It...it makes me feel better. Like all the pain leaves with the blood when I do it," Xingchen cried softly.
Xue Yang grabbed the man's head and pushed it in his shoulder, "Oh bambi, if only I noticed before. You are so strong for enduring all that pain, but I have to say, hurting yourself isn't the best answer. It won't end well if you do."
Xingchen sobbed into Xue Yang's shoulder, "I'm-I'm sorry," he cried, "I'm t-trying, all the t-time, but it's-it's just too h-hard."
"I know darling, I know. It's alright, I'm here," Xue Yang said soothingly, "you're alright."
"I'm s-so sorry," Xingchen said.
"There's no need to be sorry, just breath, let's get you some food alright?" Xue Yang helped him sit down and went to finish the food. He gave some to Xingchen and sat down beside him, "Now, do you want to talk?"
"N-no, I just want to b-be near y-you," Xingchen said and Xue Yang nodded.
"Alright, well finish eating first and we can go and sleep."
They ate and went to their room and laid down. Xingchen hid his face in Xue Yang's chest, "I can't do this anymore," he whispered.
"Why bambi? What's wrong?"
"I don't know what's wrong ok? I'm just...really tired. And sometime I wish I could just fall asleep and never wake up," Xingchen said sadly.
"We need to get you help then, you can't do this on your own," Xue Yang said.
"I don't need help, alright? I just want everything to stop," Xingchen said suddenly angry.
"Yes you do, you are hurting yourself and I can't let that happen," Xue Yang said calmly, "but right now you need to rest, sleep bambi. We'll handle this tomorrow."
"Alright," Xingchen said and closed his eyes, he was tired of fighting and arguing with his lover. He felt his mind slip into dreamland and his body relax, he smiled at the peace and fell asleep.
Xue Yang watched him sleep and smiled sadly, I wish I could help you bambi I really do. He fell asleep with a tear running down his face and a sad smile on his lips.

"Uncle! Wake up! Xue Yang is missing!" Wei Ying's voice echoed in Xingchen's ear who shot up.
"What?! What do you mean he's missing?!" Xingchen looked around and sure enough his lover wasn't sleeping next to him, "He was right here...last night when we-never mind."
"Well he's gone and I have a feeling it was Hui," Wei Ying said crossing his arms and flicking the tip of his nose. He walked away after a while leaving Xingchen shocked.
     "He's....he's gone..." Xingchen said in disbelief, "no...no!" He stood up and stumbled to the door, "Wei Wuxian!"
     Wei Ying turned around and saw Xingchen stumbling to him with tears in his eyes, "Uncle, get ready we're leaving."
     "Wait if he's with Hui I can't go," Xingchen said wiping his tears.
      "Why not? Xue Yang is your husband! Why don't you want to go get him?!" Wei Ying said loudly.
     "He...Hui h-hurt me," Xingchen said, "in many different ways and I still haven't recovered. I want to go, don't get me wrong...but I don't know how I'll react."
    "It'll be fine, just stick with me and nobody will get hurt," Wei Ying said.
     "Promise?" Xingchen asked.
     "I promise, now come on we have to go, quickly."