Technoblade Oneshots

Sir, why're you in my kitchen (D)

 I did a prompt based thing. Enjoy. Btw I can't find the prompt picture, but when I do I'll put it in. Credit to the prompt owner for the idea. This was only quickly written so excuse me


Techno jolted up, panting and grasping his chest. He cried quietly, not wanting to wake the neighbours. He sobbed and sobbed for a few minutes before wiping away his tears. He couldn't get rid of the flush on his cheeks or tear tracks on his face, his eyes pink and puffy. His nightmares were brutal and bloody, from when he was,,, he didn't want to say it. They replay over and over in his head, and he may be the blood god, but they scare him. They take his deepest fears and incorporate them into his memories, making horrible scenes worse. They get more graphic every time, his own mind scaring him until he can't move from his bed, frozen in fear.

He sighed and stood up silently, slipping on his Pig slippers and his robe as tonight was especially chilly, which was odd because it felt like somebody had opened a window.
Techno rarely got too much sleep though, so he brushed it off as sleep deprivation and sensitivity. Nightmare and Insomnia are not a good duo, I'm sure you can assume why.
He trotted as quietly as he could, which is silent from his years of practice from minigames.
Opening the kitchen door, he stopped in his tracks.
What the fuck?

He just stood in the doorway, watching them.
Okay, once more, what the fuck?
The man saw him finally, tensing up.
'I c-can explainn-'
Techno stared at him, sighing and gesturing for him to go on.
'We-ell, I caaan't explain-'
Techno sighed deeply again, man tonight is making him sigh more than he ever has.
'I'll get the first aid kit,' He could at least patch up the stab wound he has.
He turned on his heel, wanting to get out of that situation even if just for a minute to collect his thoughts.

That...person? Man? Had a lot of explaining to do.

Techno grabbed the box out of the bathroom, the situation finally dawning on him. He was lucky he had all of this, but then again he had a more advanced med kit because he always got injured, maybe that wasn't such a good thing after all?
But he was getting off topic, after all he was supposed to be thinking about the person in his kitchen.

Techno hurried back to the room, not wanting the stranger to be alone for too long, as well as the fact they're bleeding out. He entered, but this time approached them cautiously, asking from a safe distance.
'Why are you here? And why are you.. well-' he gestures to the Nutella container in his hand

The man looks at him 'W-wwell I didn't want to be 'ere at fiiirst. Likee, I was just trying to buy Nu-Nutella from the shopsss and-'
Techno cuts him off, sighing 'Can I start patching you up? You're gonna bleed out,'
Dream flushes under his mask and nods, the only sign he's blushing is the red at the tips of his ears.
Techno slowly sits on his knees next to Dream as to not startle him and make sure the man wasn't trying to hurt him, eventually relaxing a little.
'Can you like, take off your hoodie and shirt or whatever?'
'Howw do I know you a-aren't gonna stab me or shum- summ shit?'

Techno looks at him blankly
'Because I saw you eating Nutella on my floor at 2AM and I'm still gonna patch you up. I wouldn't do things that'd inconvenience me if I wanted to kill you,'
Dream ponders for a second and nods, taking that as an acceptable reason and pulling off his hoodie, hissing in pain. Or maybe he nodded because he's too tired to understand what Techno's saying, but what can you do.
With the hoodie off, and Dream now only wearing a short sleeved t-shirt he can see the shivers wracking his body, his skin pale. He watches as he pulls off the t-shirt too.
'Stranger how long ago were you stabbed,'
'My- my namee 's dream,' He looks incredibly tired judging from the way he's sitting
'How long ago were you stabbed, DREAM,' He shouted, making Dream jump. It wouldn't do if he fell asleep.

'Uhm.. like... uh, f-fifteeen m-minest ago,' He slurred
Techno sighs and jumps into action, quickly moving and applying a towel to the open wound, he doesn't know why Dream took the knife out, but it was a BAD idea.
He doesn't want Dream to go into shock so he does this as quickly as he can, trying to apply as much pressure as he could while making sure Dream's aorta hadn't been cut open. He REALLY didn't want to have to do all this with an unknown time limit that could be less than 1 minutes. 

'Dream, talk to me. Don't fall asleep please. What's your favourite colour?'
'B-but 'm so tired, I like g-greeen,'
'Don't fall asleep yet. Greens a nice colour, whats your favourite animal?'
'D-don' have one,'
'I like pigs,'
They continued idly chatting, Techno patching Dream up and trying to keep him awake while Dream kept trying to sleep at every opportunity.

When Techno finished, he asked
'Dream, do you feel really cold or sweaty?'
'Feel cold wwithnot my hooodie,'
Techno cracks up a little at withnot
'Can I put my hand over your heart Dream?'
Dream nods weakly, smiling as best as he could while he's out of it. Techno smiles back, a little bit amused, before moving his hand to Dream's chest slowly. He holds his hand over Dream's chest. He sighs in relief when his heart rate isn't that weak, and beating at a rather normal speed.

'Dream do you think you could stand up? Actually, never mind. Stay there, ok?'
Techno doesn't wait for an answer, moving the Nutella onto the side and closing the container. He drops the spoon in the sink and moves the bloodstained hoodie and shirt. He picks them up and drops them on the table, knowing he wouldn't have any guests. Well he hoped he wouldn't.

Techno wonders on how to go about this, I mean this situation is unusual so he doubts he could find answers on Google. Turning around to see Dream staring at him, his mask still on, is a weird sight but he walks over again. 'You wanna sleep in the guest room, Dream?,'
He lets out a sleepy hum which Techno takes as a yes. After a few awkward minutes of fumbling around he manages to pick up Dream bridal style.
He hopes he's doing the right thing, trusting this guy
After all, he has just recognised him as tHE NUMBER ONE SPEEDRUNNER?!