The Endless Torment of an Admin (MCSM Fanfiction)

Chapter 8 - Accepting the Changes

It was late at night, the sky outside the bedroom window almost pitch black. The soft rain was barely audible on the cabin's thatched roof, the pleasant smell of wet soil and the rumbles of thunder being the main reminders that it was still there.

Petra loved how peaceful the forest was in comparison to Beacontown and Champion City. If she closed her eyes she could imagine she was actually out there, facing the unknown again. Not laying in the guest bedroom in Lukas's cabin, too haunted by her thoughts to sleep.

It's only been a few days since Petra started staying at the cabin, and it's definitely been a pleasant change. She felt so much more at home than in the unfamiliar hospital room in Beacontown. And less alone. Even if Lukas wasn't by her side 24/7, she could always hear him working about the cabin.

But what happened with Jesse continued to weigh on Petra. The confusion over what truly happened, the guilt for not being able to help her friend... the pain of not knowing if she'll ever see her face again.

And things only got worse when bits and pieces began coming back to her in the form of nightmares.

Petra turned her head on the pillow, hearing something moving outside the room. She narrowed her eyes, noticing a dark figure moving past the open door down the hallway.

"Is it normal for writers to literally become nocturnal, or is it just you?" She asked out loud.

"What- Ow!"

Petra snorted softly as the confused response was followed by a thud. Lukas's footsteps became louder as he walked back in her direction.

"You just made me walk right into my own bedroom door." He grumbled, peeking inside the room.

"Hey don't blame me for your own clumsiness." Petra responded, grinning in the dark.

"Very funny." Lukas responded with a chuckle, leaning with his shoulder against the door frame. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No." Petra's face fell again, sighing softly. "Can't sleep."

There was a shuffle in the dark, followed by a light click and the lamp beside her bed flickering to life. Petra blinked a few times in the sudden light. She squinted for a moment, properly able to make out Lukas beside her.

"More dreams?" He asked, taking a seat on the side of the bed. There was a concerned look in his eyes.

"Yeah, but it's not just that." Petra said, sighing. "I'm almost certain I'm starting to remember things."

"Really?" Lukas asked, his blue eyes widening. "What do you remember?"

"Not a lot." Petra replied, biting her lip. "But I remember being out there... on the balcony. With Jesse."

"Do you remember what happened?" Lukas prodded gently.

Petra closed her eyes, trying to connect the dots between the blurred bits of memory. Yelling... harsh words... Her head was beginning to pulse.

"We were arguing." She said, not opening her eyes. "All I can remember is... Jesse, she..." Petra gritted her teeth slightly, ignoring the pain as she racked her brain for the memories. "...She was telling me to stop... and I didn't listen."

Lukas frowned, tilting his head to the side. A few strands of his blonde hair fell into his eyes.

"It hurts, I can't recall any more." Petra said, finally opening her eyes and shaking her head. "But Lukas, I think I did this to myself. Jesse's emotions were hanging by threads, you saw that. She didn't want to hurt me."

"Petra, this isn't on you." Lukas said softly.

"It's not on Jesse either." Petra said, looking up at him. "This is no different to when she burned my wrist, she probably wasn't in control of her actions."