smile, rosemary

three

her

"remember, choose
partners before
next class, friends!"

as the students march
out of the rusty library room,
i push my way out,
bumping into a few people
in the process

a hand pulls onto my
leather jacket, and
south says:
"want me to walk with you?"
"i'd rather not, actually."
"but I wanna walk you home!"
"i said: no."
"rosemary, please?"
"no thanks, south."

he lets me go and grins,
and it is as if a billion
pictures are taken;
he is a diamond

"what?!"
"you know my name."

there is a warmth
wrapping itself
around my heart at
his words, because
no one has ever thought
that i was worthy enough
of such a smile

with parents whom couldn't
care less about their daughter,
and friends who only want to
get high or are interested in
physical contact;

this boy's smile is the
first comfort i have received
since him.

-

him

"so, can i walk with you?"
she purses her lips and says:
"don't talk too much."
i grin; "so that's a yes?"
"south, let's go."
i murmur, "god, i love it when you say my name."

because the taste of my name
on her lips is bitterly sweet,
and the sound of her voice
is strangely comforting,
and i think she might be—
no, no, no.

"what's wrong?" she asks,
and i realize i must seem upset
"i'm fine. i'll walk you home next time,yeah?"
"shouldn't have asked if you
didn't want to," her face falls.
"no, no!"
"it's fine. bye."
she turns to walk away.

i hold her wrist, "rosemary!"
"what do you fucking want?"
"i just need to think about something.
it's not you, i swear."
"i don't give a fuck."

the overwhelming urge of
hugging her takes over me and
i hold her, she stays reluctant and stiff

"you're one of the most beautiful people
i've ever met and i give an f word about you."

she pushes me away,
purple colliding with green,
and flummoxed, she leaves.

i think she might be a wonder that i might call my home.