[Love and Tears] part 36.

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"Like this; I hate coffee!"

Christopher laughed. "Oh Callie, I'm going to miss you so much."

I frowned, pursing my lips. "Please don't do this Christopher. Its hard enough as it is."

"I know but I am! Imagine how Jay feels."

Everything went silent. Christopher stayed silent. I stayed silent. And even the cab driver stayed silent, giving the the occasional worried look through the mirror.

"I-i can't do this," I said to Chris, with a deep sigh. "Turn the cab around." I commanded the cab driver.

"What?"

"I said turn the cab around!"

"Hello? Callie? What are you talking about?" Christopher questioned through the phone.

"How can I turn the cab around when we're on the bloody motorway?" The cab driver asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Just do it!" I ordered.

"You're crazy you are! Crazy! Now I'm going to keep driving to the airport and you'll pay me at the end. Got that?"

I nodded weakly. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

"Okay," the cab driver responded, with a fake half-smile.

"Hello? What was that all about?" Christopher quizzed.

"Just forget it," I replied.

"Okay. Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine," I responded quickly and rudely. "Absolutely fine." But everything wasn't fine. I wasn't fine. My mind wasn't straight. Was I doing the right thing? "Look, thanks for calling Chris but I have to go now. I'll ring you when I land in canada. Goodbye."

"But-"

"Bye."

"Bye then I guess." He said.

I hung up before placing the phone in my pocket. I leaned my head back on the backrest as I closed my eyes. My thoughts were all muddled up. Did I really want to go? Should I have at least told Jay? Maybe I should've waited until Terry had his funeral? I frowned. Why was my life so difficult? It was like I was in one of them books were it just never goes right for the main character. But it wasn't a book, it was real life. My life. A life which I had thought about ending.

My thoughts were stopped by the car pulling up into the car park or the airport. There was no going back now.

"We're here love," the cab driver informed me, like I didn't know. I took a deep breath in before opening the cab door.

The cruel wind nipped at me as my body heat adjusted to this cool air from the warm atmosphere. I made my way to the back of the cab, locating the boot.

I waited for the cab driver to open the boot before proceeding to pull out my suitcases. I pulled out a backpack, a heavy one, and placed it on my back. I then pulled out a really heavy wheely suitcase which I thanked God it had wheels otherwise I don't know how I'd carry it. The cab driver pulled out the last full-to-the-brim suitcase and handed it to me. That one was also wheely. The weight of the backpack of my back almost brought me to the floor but I kept going.

"Thanks for your services. And sorry for that little scene back there. Here," I said, rummaging in my pocket and pulling out a wad of money. "Keep the change."

He took it with a smile and thanked me before I headed towards the entrance. The airport was a big light source and could be spotted from a mile away as it contrasted with the dark, winter sky. There really was no going back.

I smiled as the warmth hit of the airport hit me. I pushed the heavy door back into its original place before making my way to check-in.

I looked outside before sighing. I was really doing it. I was really going. I waited in the line before getting my suitcases weighed. I gave them my ticket and passport and they showed me the way to the boarding area.

I turned around once more, trying to locate a familiar face. I had hoped it would have been like a movie moment were Jay would have seen the note, come racing in a car to me and search for me everywhere and convince me not to go or he'd come with me. I sighed when I realised that wasn't going to happen. He was probably still sleeping. He probably hadn't even seen the note yet. I still couldn't help but hope.

When the woman informed me that there was only 5 minutes before the flight took off, I sighed and gave up hope. He wasn't coming. Who was I kidding? This was my life, of course he wouldn't come!

"Oh well," I whispered to myself. "This is your new life now. Don't look back."

With that, I gave the woman my boarding pass before dragging myself onto the plane. This was it. It was really it. Don't look back. What's done is done. And what ever happens, happens. Que sera sera.

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Sorry for the depressing-ness. I know that's not a word :/ but it should be!

Anyway no school for me, I don't think you care why but I'll tell you anyway; I'm ill :(. Haha. Its not fun. So yeah.

About I think two or three or something chapters until this ends and of course the epilogue which I'm really excited about :D. I love writing it and planning it and stuff, but right now I just want to finish it! Because this was meant to be like a short story, turned out totally different. (Told you I don't stick to plans.) And I'm so impatient so for me its taken too long to write. D:

So yeah, expect a lot of uploads this week because I want it just to end! Don't get me wrong, I love love love writing it and seeing you guys' comments and seeing new fans and votes and things, and I can't thank you enough! But as I said, I'm very impatient and start things before finishing others. Like I mean I've got loads of story ideas but if I go through with them, I'll sort of abandon this one when there's not really a point to cos its almost finished?I know what I mean lol. Anyway thanks for reading! :D sorry about the little rant :$

Anyways thanks for sitting through you guys! I know sometimes I can chat the most shit :$ haha xxx

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