Chapter 39

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As I traveled the labyrinth of hallways in the hospital to the psyche ward my nerves were on edge. I tried my best to dampen my expectations but this was the last place I ever expected to visit, let alone to visit my own mother. When I entered I was told the billing had been straightened out but I already knew that. I really wished they could tell me what to expect, when I see her again. That would be far more useful.

I had purchased a journal for her knowing my mother liked to write and thought it may give her something to do but they confiscated my book at the front desk because it was spiral bound and my mother or another patient could use the wire to harm themselves. If that's not a reality check I'm not entirely sure what is. I made a mental note however to try again and get a bound book next time, or maybe I won't have too because she will be allowed back home.

Home? Still had to figure out if what was the best course of action to take in regards to my mother.

"She's in the common room," the nurse told me as she points the way.

"Thank you."

I found her sitting in room filled with light and a few potted plants. My mother always loved to garden so I guess she'd feel the most comfort here. Her face is turned away from me but I can see her brows are creased. She appears deep in thought.

"Mom?"

She slowly turns and smiles at me. I'm so relieved. I don't know why but I feared she would be mad at me for leaving her here.

She pats the chair next to her and I take seat.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't want to leave. I didn't have a choice."

My mom reached out and stroke the side of my cheek. "It's okay, Alex. I understand why you had to."

This surprised me. "You know what happened?"

"Some things I remember. I hate this disease. It's slowly robbing me of everything that I love, well everything that death hasn't already stolen."

Tears fill her eyes and I gather her to me. "I love you, Mom. So much! I'm so sorry for staying away. I've missed so much time."

"Shh!," she soothed, stroking my hair. "None of this is your fault, baby. Not what's happening to me, what happened to your brother, or your Dad. You can't take all this on yourself. Some things just can't be fixed."

She held me away and we dried each other's eyes and laughed a little that we had the same idea at the same time.

"How is Tina?"

"She's doing well. She'll be staying at the house until I know she's okay to be on her own."

My mom's eyes widened in surprise. "I hurt her that badly? Oh Alex!"

"No, no!" I was quick to reassure her. "You didn't hurt Tina. She stumbled and fell but she hit her head, which caused a mild concussion. I just don't want her to be left alone."

My mother gave my hand a squeeze. "I'm so glad she has you."

"Well, both me and my fiancé," I informed her wanting to take this lucid moment to tell her about Cat.

"You... you're engaged?"

My mother looked stunned and then her face fell into sadness. "Did you tell me already and I forgot?"

"No, Mom. I wasn't sure if we were still together when I first arrived. You see Cat is pregnant and..."

"Pregnant?!"

Again I shocked my Mom. I really need to find a better way of breaking news to her.

"The baby isn't mine. It's someone else's but she was in a bad situation so she moved in with me."

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