The Queens' Baby

Ch. 36 - Worries

Peyton POV

I had been sitting in mom's lap while Jason was in dads. Neither of us had slipped really, but it was clear that Savannah had. So when it was time to get up, Jason and I stood out of their laps and just held the hand of the parent's lap we were in.

Jason and dad started to walk away, but just as I was about to, mom picked me up and placed me on her hip. "Mommm, I'm not little right now." I whined out to her.

She kissed my forehead, "Do you want me to put you down?" She asked with a grin already knowing the answer.

I rested my head on her chest and mumbled out a quiet no. She chuckled a bit as she carried me inside. I didn't say much and I think mom could tell there was something on my mind, that's why she didn't follow everyone to dinner, but instead took me to her office.

She does the management for the queen's meetings so she gets her own office. I love it because she has bean bag chairs for whenever I have trouble talking about stuff. We make it in there and she stopped in front of the chairs. "Sit in your own chair or with me?" She asked while rocking me slightly.

"With you please," I whispered. She kissed my forehead again before settling us into the chair. She pushed some of the fallen hairs out of my face as we sat there in silence.

Mom sighed and realized she was going to have to initiate this conversation. "Baby girl, what's going on in that beautiful head of yours? I know something's been bothering you."

I laid my head on her chest and played with her fingers. "I've been thinking about my sister." I said while trying to look up at her slightly. She gave me a gentle head nod so I know to continue.

"What if she still lives with my biological mother? What if that woman wants to be apart of my life? She lost that right when she left me." I continued.

"Baby," Mom started but I quickly interrupted her.

"I only want to know about my sister. I don't want to know anything about my biological mother and I don't ever want to see my biological father again. You are the only mother I have ever had and the only one I ever want." I said slightly more panicked.

Mom picked up on it and quietly shushed me as she held me tightly. "It's okay baby, just try to calm down for me."

I nodded my head, "But what happens if I find my sister, but the only way she'll be in my life is if I talk to her mom? That means I'll have to lose her again, because I'm not talking to that woman."

Mom rocked me and kissed my temple. "I promise you baby girl, you will never have to see her if you don't want to."

"Oh my god, what if my father finds me? I know I left the kingdom and he hasn't found me yet, but what happens if he does? He's going to be so angry. He's so scary when he's angry." I all but cried out.

Mom switched me to lay on her front and gently rubbed my back trying to get me to calm down. "Your dad and I will keep you safe, okay? I promise you that man will never have contact with you again. If he so much is within 500 feet of you, I will have him arrested. I will protect you, you are my baby, no one else's."

I nodded my head before continuing. "I love you mom," I said quickly causing her to smile and reciprocate.

"I don't know if I even want to be apart of my sisters life. I just want to know where she is, if she's okay, how her childhood was. I would totally understand if she didn't want to be in my life, but I just want to know about her. Does she look like me? Would she accept me for being a little?" I ramble out and again mom is there to hold me through it.

"Baby girl. You don't need anyone's acceptance of you being a little. All the people who love and care about you, love you for both big and little you. If she can't accept it then that's her problem. You are perfect. Do you understand me?" Mom questioned.

"I know, thank you momma for everything. I don't know where I'd be without you keeping me together." I could feel myself wanting to slip and mom could definitely tell.

"Are you ready to head to dinner baby?" She asked rocking me gently.

"No momma, not weally hungwy." I mumbled out and I could see a little smile on her lips.

"Well baby, you need to eat something." Momma reasoned with me.

"Milkies? Den maybe a snack yater?" I asked and momma gave in slowly lifting her shirt up.

I sunk down so I could reach her better before gently taking one of her nipples in my mouth and tasting her milk. I closed my eyes in content as she ran her fingers through my hair. I suckled until I couldn't get anymore milk from that boob and swapped to the other one.

"Momma sing?" I asked before latching onto the other one.

"You want momma to sing?" She asked and I nodded my head carefully, not wanting to hurt her boob if I pulled to hard.

Momma nodded before she started singing a part from I'm Gonna Love You Through It by Martina McBride.

I know that you're afraid and I am, too

But you'll never be alone, I promise you

When you're weak, I'll be strong

When you let go, I'll hold on

When you need to cry, I swear

That I'll be there to dry your eyes

When you feel lost and scared to death,

Like you can't take one more step

Just take my hand, together we can do it

I'm gonna love you through it.

I could feel myself drift to sleep due to her singing, rubbing my head, and the milkies. I heard her say 'I love you little one,' faintly before I was completely out.