chapter 1

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I was laying there on my bed, not doing anything. 

My head was throbbing, my body was aching, I couldn't move. 

Willa and Garret aka my parents just got done taking out every inch of anger out, 

On me. 

I didn't understand why, but everyday almost every second they had to hurt me in some way. 

They might just insult me, or go into an abusive rage. 

I couldn't take it! 

You trying being in my spot for tenstriaght years and see how you feel!

But I couldn't do anything about it! 

I couldn't move when they were lashing out on me! 

I stood there and just, took it. 

I did not move, talk, or defend. 

Its likeI was frozen, because I knew when ever they hit me I must have desvered it.

I just waited, 

Waited for it to end. 

This is been happening since six to sixteen. 

Ten tortuous years.

Not only did they abuse me in any way possible, I was never fed much. Maybe like a piece of bread or something. A poor person's meal. But at school I made sure to eat so I don't look anorexic. (Anorexic isn't pretty) 

And I didn't look anorexic, close, but not. 

I look very skinny, very close to unhealthy. 

I had long mid-back length red and black hair. It was in an emo/scene hair cut and I teased it to make it look better. 

My body was very pale, almost like a vampire. 

Brown hazel eyes that reminded me of the coor of coffee, but with a spakle.

And long legs so I was about 5'3. 

Medium height.

I tried no matter what to keep a good image. But nothing I ever did worked. The bullies never thought of it as good enough. 

They thought 'oh your hair is emo and ugly' 

They thought 'oh your to skinny and ugly' 

Or the polar opposite 'oh your to fat and ugly' 

And nothing I ever did pleased them. It even boiled down to what I wore, 

I usually wore colored skinny jeans, converse or toms, and well fitted graphic tees, in black usually. 

Then when my hair wasn't down, it was in a layered ponytail with my fringe pinned back. 

I never saw anything wrong with it, it gave me a bit of a scene look I guess but I was ok with it. 

But nobody else liked it.

I don't understand why EVERY body else cares about one person so much. Its not like the good care as you can see. But only one person cared for me, in the good way.  

She was my, friend, my best friend. 

She was Blakely Mazes.

I've known her since pre school, and she was the only one who actually cared enough to get my back story. 

The only one who knew about Willa and Garret. 

She was very tall, pretty, athletic. 

I don't know why she hung around a outcast like me. 

But I was happy she did. 

She was the only reason I kept going to school. 

I always did something right when I was with her. 

Blakely cared so much, she even gave me a iPhone.

It was the nicest thing ever. 

Not because it was a way to always keep contact. 

Because of the music. 

Oh god, the music! 

Music has kept me going since the start. 

The music just tells me to make it through what ever I get stuck in. 

That was one thing I'm good at. Listening to music. 

Mostly sleeping with sirens. 

I loved them all! Kellin, Jesse, Gabe,Justin, Jack.... 

Oh.

But if Willa and Garret saw music made me actually happy, they would take away any way I could listens to it. 

There job as ''parents'' were to drain me of all happiness. 

To make sure I believed I was useless. 

But I was hard headed. 

And had that one reason. 

That one something to say hold on. 

That one thing to say, its going to stop, you'll make it stop. 

That little something.

A/N: so..... yeah sucky first chapt. But hey! It gets better!

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