Ch. 30 - Explanations

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Lillian POV

"Momma?" I heard my little girl groggily mumble out. She must be waking up from her nap. I know she only asked for me to stay until she was asleep, but I couldn't let her out of my arms. My baby girl had been through so much, and she didn't tell anyone about it.

It breaks my heart thinking about how alone she must have felt this whole time. "Yes sweetie?" I asked realizing I never responded to her.

"T'ank you fo staying wit me while I sleep." She mumbled out while crawling more into my lap and laying her head on my chest.

"Of course baby, there's no place I'd rather be. But you need to wake up little missy, otherwise you won't be able to sleep a wink tonight." I told her finally getting to see her beautiful blue eyes as she opened them.

"Otay mommy, I wake." She giggled slightly and I placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before lifting both of us out of bed. I held her out in front of me before asking if she wanted to be held or walk, and she wanted to be held so I shifted her onto my hip.

She tucked her head underneath my chin and played with the ends of my hair as we walked outside to the garden. Jay has always had an older headspace than her so I never get to coddle him as much as I do with Pey, so I take full advantage of that. Occasionally Jay will want more snuggles or something like that, but not as much as her.

As we make our way over to Alex and Addie who had Savannah with them, I couldn't help but think about every time Peyton slept in bed with me and Axel. If it was just her, I would be sandwiched in between Axel and her. If Jay slept in bed with us as well then it would go Axel, Jay, Pey, then me. I don't know how I didn't realize this sooner.

"Hey Pey?" I whispered and she looked up at me.

"Do you think you could tell Jay about what you experienced as a kid? He may be able to help more than you think." I told her honestly so she nodded her head yes before resting it back down on my chest.

Jay didn't have the greatest childhood either. He was abused by his mother, and his dad had disappeared while she was still pregnant with him. It wasn't necessarily physical abuse, but definitely emotional/mental abuse and I believe some sexual abuse, but he has never confirmed nor denied that. He ran away from home when he was 12 and Axel found him on the streets when he was about 15. We were actually able to legally adopt Jay since he was underage. I know he loves me and I am his momma, but he is definitely closer to Axel. Which is completely fine, I just want both of my babies happy.

I was so lost in my thoughts, that I didn't realize we had made it over to the group, so I went ahead and set Peyton down who immediately ran over to Savannah.

Peyton POV

Momma just set me down so I ran over to Savannah as soon as I saw her. She was cuddled up in Addie's lap, but was awake. "Hi Savvy." I whispered out to her and when she saw me her face lit up. She reached over to hug me and I did so gently.

"Mom, can I talk to Pey alone?" Savannah asked Addie who nodded her head yes before setting her down on the bench. Alex and Addie then walked over to talk to Lily. I slowly sat on the bench and faced Savannah.

"Are you big right now Pey?" She asked and I nodded my head yes since I can come out of headspace easily. I haven't seen her at all the whole time she has been back, so I don't think she's too happy.

"Did I do something to make you upset? Since I have been back, I've only seen Jason. You are one of my best friends and I really wanted to see you." She told me and I squirmed in my seat.

"I'm sorry Savvy. I never meant to make you upset, there was just a lot of stuff from my childhood resurfacing when I saw you." I told her truthfully.

She tilted her head to the side, "Whatcha mean?"

I sighed knowing I'd have to tell her. "Barely anyone knows this, I told Lily and I think she's already spoken to Axel, but I was abused a lot by my father. So when I saw all of the marks and injuries on your body, it just gave me flashbacks of everything he use to do to me. I know that's not a good reason to avoid you, I just couldn't deal with the flashbacks."

Savvy shook her head, "Pey, you don't have to apologize. I'm glad to know you weren't upset with me, but you don't have to apologize for any of it. That's definitely a valid reason to avoid me. I get it, but now that I've been through that, you can talk to me about it too. I may not have gone through it as long as you have, but if you need someone to just listen, you got me."

I smiled at her and could feel the tears brimming my eyes. "Thank you Savvy, that means a lot to me." I told her and she pulled me into another hug.

"So, how much longer till you're not as crippled?" I asked with a little giggle and Savvy shoved me playfully.

"I have a couple more days being in the chair, and then mommies can carry me. Which I'll be grateful for because I hate that chair. After that I think I have a week or so until I can walk on my own." Savvy said with a shrug.

I nodded along, "That's good. Hopefully you can get back to playing with me and Jay soon? It hasn't been the same without you."

Savannah smiled, "Well our moms are distracted right now... Just because I can't walk, they said nothing about crawling."

I shook my head with a grin, "Okay, lets go." I slowly moved over to help Savannah off of the bench and she started crawling away and I was right behind her.

"Where do you think you two are going?" I heard a voice boom from behind us and knew immediately that it was Alex.

I slowly turned around and I saw Savvy do the same, but sit down on her butt.

"Momma, we was just gon p'ay." Savannah said clearly having slipped.

I turned back around, "Did you slip?" I asked and she just had a goofy smile and nodded her head.

Alex was then over to Savannah and gently picking her up to set her back into the wheel chair. "She slips sometimes when she's trying to be sneaky. Don't worry, I'm sure it had nothing to do with your conversation." Alex said sweetly to me.

"Now you little missy know better than to one, sneak away, and two, do so when you're injured." I watched in amusement as Savannah took none of Alex's scolding in and just giggled while she played with her hair. Alex and Addie both ended up laughing seeing that their reprimands were falling on deaf ears.

"Alright babes, I think it's time we go in. This little one needs dinner." Addie spoke up as she pushed Savannah back inside.

I looked over to see my mommy standing near where all the moms were and she gave me a comforting smile. I ran over and jumped into her arms, luckily she was prepared and caught me.

"Hi baby, mommy missed you." She told me as she kissed my cheek.

I copied her actions by kissing her on her cheek, "I missed you too mommy. I love youuuu." I drug out the last word causing her to chuckle.

"I love you too baby, now let's follow them!" I nodded my head with a smile before laying my head back down on her chest. She carried me on her front so it was easier for her as we walked inside.

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