Bay City Runaway

Chapter 18

(1995)

The next Monday after Choir, as I was putting up my folder, Laura approached me. She looked serious.

"Hey, James. We need to talk. Maybe we could get lunch over at O'Connell's?"

"Ok. Like, right now?" I said.

"Yeah, if you're available."

"Is everything ok?"

"Come on; we'll talk about it outside."

As we were walking out together, I saw Zach leaning up against a wall in the hallway, talking with a freshman girl. He looked up, gave me a wink, and continued talking to her.

We stepped outside into the cool, autumn air. The leaves on campus were turning, but I didn't pay much attention to them. I was focused on Laura.

"So, what's up?" I asked after we crossed Boyd Street, which ran across the north side of the music center.

"Well, I've been giving it a lot of thought. Giving us a lot of thought," she said, then paused.

"Oh, yeah?" I said, prompting her.

"I've just been having a lot of feelings lately."

"About what?"

"About you. About us."

My pulse went up a few beats. "Yeah, me, too. I can't stop thinking about you," I said.

She stopped walking and turned to me, still serious. "Me neither. I mean, it felt so go to be with you the other day, as terrible a day as that must have been, what with your mother and all."

We began walking again.

"You know," she said. "You really hurt me...at my party...with Stacey."

"I know, I was such an idiot. I saw you with Chad and jumped to conclusions and—"

"I don't know, maybe it was an honest mistake, but why didn't you just ask me about it?"

"Look, I was really crushed. I thought we would get back together. I was feeling like shit, you know?"

"I know. And I feel bad about that. I didn't want to hurt you. I just needed some time, James, and I wish you had just given me that."

"What can I do to make this right?" I asked. We checked for cars, then crossed the street to the next block.

"Look, we never had an exclusive deal. I dated other boys at school, and I assume you dated other girls. It's just that seeing you with her felt really different, and now everything feels different. We go to the same school. We're even in Choir together. I'm not used to you being a part of this part of my life, you know? It's like if we got back together..."

"We might never break up...or we might screw it up and break up forever," I said.

"Yes! That's exactly it. This isn't a summer thing or a high school thing anymore. We're about to be twenty-one. We're about to graduate college. A girl in my music theory class like just got married. I mean, she's fucking married....and she's our age. James, people are getting married."

I stopped and took her hand and said, "Would that be so bad?"

"I don't know, James! I mean, no...or yes, I'm not sure. I just know that I'm falling in love with you in a new sort of way, and it scares the shit out of me. Seeing you with her drove me crazy. I know, I know, I kind of cut you lose, but seeing you with her...I don't know. I mean, I was like. HEY BITCH! That is MY man!"

I laughed, but she didn't.

"No! I'm serious, James. I've never felt that way about you...about anyone."