The Beauty In Pain || t.s

Chapter 10

I felt someone shifting in my arms, as small groans happened to escape their lips. They reeked of alcohol and smoke. I slowly traced my fingertips down their right arm as I could feel that they were well toned and the veins were just slightly bulging out on their forearm. My eyelids were too heavy to open so I kept them closed. I remained in the person's arms, not worried at the moment, just enjoying their warmth and presence.

I could tell they were shirtless just like me. The only thing between the two of us was a thin sheet, which felt like it was only wrapped around me. I scrunched my face in pain as the pounding headache started to kick in, then all of a sudden that's when all the memories flooded in.

My dad raping me.
Thomas fighting him off.
Us fleeting the scene.
Going to a run down motel.
Getting drunk off cheap red wine.
Singing weird songs.
Rambling on about random things.
Trying cigarette's for my first time.
Thomas tucking me into bed.
Falling asleep in his arms bare chested.

It was all too familiar and sadly, true. It felt good to let loose and have a good time with Thomas. Unfortunately, we did that just after I happened to be raped, once again, by my father. That sick bastard, I thought. What I would do to have that man dead.

I slowly rubbed my eyes open and wanted to find something to treat it fast. I couldn't handle the ache any longer.

Once I slipped on Thomas' shirt I raided the cabinets to find pain relief pills, preferably Advil, only because it's easier for me to swallow. I kept searching and luckily, there were some. I grabbed a water bottle and chugged it down whilst popping two pills in my mouth. In about a half an hour from now they should be starting to kick in.

I laid down on my back beside Thomas and I heard him groan a bit from the bed sinking due to my weight. I rested my intertwined hands on my lower stomach, closing my eyes, taking in a deep breath. I'll do this a few times until I feel somewhat alright.

I opened my eyes after a few minutes, feeling calm already. I looked over to Thomas and admired his button nose that always had stayed the same since he was a child. I loved how he always wore the thin silver chain around his neck too. It looked good on him and I thought, made him more attractive.

I know I'm starting to fall for Thomas, which is only trouble for me, because he has a long-term relationship with his beautiful girlfriend. He wouldn't even consider me as an option if he was single. But how can you not fall for Thomas? He has this bad boy image, involving him riding motorcycles and smoking cigarettes yet his face is so young and innocent, I can't help but fall in love. Isabella is the luckiest girl on earth, and I sure hope she knows it. They make such a wonderful couple, and maybe soon, he'll slip that ring on her finger.

I saw his top lip twitch as his left eyebrow did right after, before he groaned and started to rub his eyes. I wonder if he always does that before he wakes up. I smiled to myself, finding it cute if he does.

"Good morning Tommy." I said in a soft voice, being quiet, as he had just woken up.

"Morning Kensie." He said after me, in a groggy and scratchy voice. It was awfully sexy, since his voice was deeper and his accent happened to be thicker.

I watched as he slowly sat up, his stomach muscles contracting. Man, Kens, you need to stop staring at the poor guy. He's going to get weirded out, I thought, looking away quickly before he could even notice. I picked at the already peeling off nail polish on my nails. The colour was dull, just like the rest of me.

"Are you alright?" He asked me, as he looked over, joining his eyes with mine. I nodded, clearly lying because there is no way I can be okay from what happened last night.

I heard him let out a long sigh before he opened up his arms.

"C'mere.." He nodded his head in his direction. I looked at him then his chest before crawling into his arms, in a fetal position. It felt good for him to hold me like this, and lately, this is what all our hangouts have consisted of, comfort. I was fine with it, as long as Thomas was.

"How did you sleep?" I heard him whisper above me as he tucked strands of hair behind my ear slowly, uncovering my bruised and tattered face. I felt his hand run along my jawline gently when he went to grab more sections of my hair, placing it behind my neck as well.

"It was good, once I was in your arms." I admitted, relaxing in his arms.

"I'm glad I am able to make you feel safe." I could practically hear the smile in his voice, which caused me to smile faintly.

After a few moments of silence I spoke up, hesitating to say it, but I thought he deserved to know.

"You're my home Thomas." I whispered, too scared to say it, but I knew he still heard it.

I could tell he was taken back when he wasn't responding. I sat up more, still in the same position, resting my head on his chest now. I looked up to him as he looked down to me.

"I'm your w-what?" He stammered on the last word, I just smiled, knowing he needed to know. I felt more comfortable saying it now.

"You're my home. Wherever I am with you, is home." I said with more confidence in my voice.

I saw his smile slowly start to grow as he just stared into my eyes. A blush started to creep onto my cheeks because of the way he was looking at me. I have never seen this type of look in his eyes before. They were more gentle and almost as if he was about to cry. I know he wasn't going to, but they just glistened so beautifully from the slight sunshine peeking through the dull motel curtains.

I noticed his eyes flickered down to my lips before he looked back up to my eyes. My face was starting to burn from all the blushing, so I looked down to my thighs, so he wouldn't notice it too much, hopefully.

I heard him lick his lips, or so it seemed, before I felt his hand gently tilt my chin up, bringing my eyes to his. He stared at me for a long while, as his thumb slowly ran over my lips. I could tell he was moving towards me, bit by bit, closing the empty space in between the two of us. I felt his breath linger across my lips, still smelling like smoke and cheap alcohol. My eyes started to close as his eyes followed when he leaned in just slightly, filling the rest of the gap with his chest on mine, as our lips joined together. I felt a tingle sensation dancing on my lips as his started to move against mine leisurely. The feeling was something indescribable, but I know it felt great.

I moved a bit closer, resting my hand on his chest as my other hand rested on his left shoulder. He held my waist and slowly laid us down back on the bed, his body just centimetres above mine. I felt his hand slip down to my hipbone gently, as I was comfortable with his touch, knowing he didn't have any intentions. I felt his lips pull away from mine to continue down my neck gently. I closed my eyes, breathing out softly, at loss of breath, due to the kiss. My chest continued to rise and fall, as I felt his sweet-tempered kisses along my neck. His lips were still wet from when he had licked them previously, and his mouth was warm from excitement.

"Oh, Thomas.." I whispered, enjoying the pleasurable feeling he was giving me. His hot kisses trailed up behind me ear as my skinny fingers tangled into his dirty blonde mop of hair.

The boy gave me a sense of self worth and that's all that I could ever ask for.

ⓒ Lex