author's note

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© 2015 Emma Norman. All Rights Reserved.

I know this story is in the mature category and that means there is meant to be mature content, but that doesn't necessarily mean there is going to be sex in every single chapter. Especially given that it's not just the sex scenes which make this a mature story, but also the themes which have been explored within the book itself.

You've got Andrew's many failed suicide attempts, Alyssa being raped by her ex-husband, the excessive use of curse words by several of the characters, Andrew's alcoholism and the sex scenes themselves.

I was never going to put a sex scene six chapters into the book, not when I wanted to develop the characters in their own right and set up the plot of the story, because I wanted there to be something other than sex to the story. If you have really read the beginning of the book, then you shall understand just how conflicted Alyssa is towards Andrew and vice versa with Andrew towards Alyssa.

She wanted to help him, to be the friend which he clearly needed, but she also found it hard to see past the arrogance and the firm belief that he had in him being better than anyone else. There is also Andrew's constant internal battle with himself throughout the book, and the way he holds himself together.

Both of the characters are strong, and they are fiercely independent in their own right, each with their own reason for being the way that they are throughout the book. I know the subjects within this book are serious, and sensitive subjects, but I know about the both of them from my own experiences.

I spent most my school years being bullied and I had no one to help me, no one to actually listen to me when I needed them. The loneliness, and isolation, eventually turned into self-harm which turned into four attempts at committing suicide in the space of three months, because I genuinely felt like I had no one there for me and I didn't have anyone to turn to who would understand what I felt. Therefore, I have used my own personal experiences with Andrew's backstory, and I have used what I know and what I felt to create everything he is.

I also know about Alyssa's storyline, given that it happened within my own family, so I understand how sensitive the topic is and that it needs to be written in the right way. I have focused more on the emotional impact, as well as the trust issues which incurred after the event itself, because that's what I know about and I understand the way in which something such as rape can impact upon a victim. So, hopefully, I have conveyed the hatred which Alyssa has for her ex-husband, as well as the emotional severity of the event itself.

If you read this story, and enjoyed it, that's amazing and makes me unbelievably happy. I have only posted this little rant because of some of the comments which have been put on the story, as well as some of the messages which I have received claiming that I can't write about what I have, because I know nothing about them. I do love writing, and I honestly loved writing this story more than anything, but it really does put you down and make you doubt yourself when people criticise in the wrong way rather than offering helpful criticism.

Sorry for complaining, and even though I shouldn't have to explain myself, I felt the need to do so because it did get to me and it did annoy me more than I should have allowed it to.

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