organic. ➵ lashton

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"yes?"

"i-.. i can't have that, ashton..."

"why not? you need some meat on your bones."

luke begged himself not to scream at ashton. 'can't you see i'm practically gelatinous?' 'i can't believe your hand can actually fit around my baseball mitt hands.' 'i'm so fat, even if i tried to kill myself the blubber would intercept the bullet.'

"no, ashton, i'm a vegan... a-and a vegetarian."

ashton pursed his lips together, closing his eyes tightly.

"could you give us a moment?" he asked the waitress politely.

luke almost knew instantly that ashton was going to blame it all on him, ask why he hadn't ever told him, or why he was even so stupid about food in the first place, but he was wrong.

"you could've told me, you know... i wouldn't have been mad. i'm so sorry, f-for this. taking you to a stupid italian restaurant when i should've known you had some kind of eating thing."

eating thing, luke thought, like a disorder?

"it's why you're so skinny," ashton continued.

"no."

"lukey..."

"no!"

ashton tried to grasp luke's hand once more and luke bolted out of the seat, breathing the word 'no' once more.

"luke, please don't go, i was just-"

"no, no i know what you're were just trying to do. i don't have an eating disorder! i'm not skinny! you can't be fat like me and have an eating disorder!"

luke ran back to his conveniently placed car, leaving ashton where he stood, stunned.

he drove back to his house, navigating his way from the restaurant he'd never actually been to before the date.

once he found himself back onto a road he knew, he slid the dial to the left on his CD player, a singer called jaymay crooning softly through the speakers.

"what are you so afraid of? why're you feelin' scared, what's the worst that's gonna happen?"

luke took a sharp left, focussing on the music instead of his driving. he quickly lowered the loud volume and directed his attention to the road.

he arrived back at his little split-story and got out of the car, looking up to see little white flakes drifting down slowly.

luke thought, walking through the thin layer of snow up to his front door, that he would've loved to be running outside with ashton, hand in hand, or possibly tongue on tongue, he didn't really know yet.

/\/\/\

"and then, he goes 'ashton, i'm a vegan,' he pauses, 'and a vegetarian.' how often do you meet a teenage guy that's both a vegan and a vegetarian? there's gotta be something up," ashton exclaimed, walking aimlessly around his flat with his phone pressed to his ear.

"you didn't need to accuse him of being anorexic."

"wow, hannah, thanks for your lovely advice. i'm glad i called you. now go to sleep."

ashton ended the call and sighed, falling onto his couch and turning on the television.

the bright light coated his face as he lay on the couch sleepily and watched some stupid mtv show, calling his friend michael and waiting as it rang.

/\/\/\

"he called it an eating /thing/, calum! not even an eating disorder, an eating /thing/!"