Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert) [Being heavily overhauled]

Season 9 Chapter 16: Hell's Angel

Fade in to Church and Tucker outside Blue Base

Church: Tucker, c-come on man, help me. I need to find a way to have her stick around a bit longer.

Tucker: Oh yeah sure, no problem. Maybe you and your girlfriend can find time to go on a killing spree. Do some real bonding.

Church: Tucker.

Tucker: Oh, that's right, not your girlfriend. Just the girl that you're stalking, through multiple planes of existence.

Church: Hhgh.

Tucker: Romantically.

Church: Please, I just need a little more time.

Tucker: Why, who cares?

Church: I do, I'm supposed to do this.

Tucker: Fine, where is she now?

Church: She's talking with Caboose.

Tucker: Well that should keep her busy for at least a few minutes. Half an hour if she starts asking him math problems.

Tex: Hey, I'm gonna stick around a while longer.

Church: You are? I mean... you are?

Tex: Yeah. Caboose here said you guys need some help with the tank, so I figured ah, I could help with that too. What can I say, I like the kid.

Caboose: Plus I paid her a hundred dollars.

Tex: Yeah, that too.

Tucker: Money - why didn't I think of that?

Church: Because you don't have any money?

Tucker: Good point. Hey Caboose, give me some money!

Caboose: Oka- wait. S'this a trick. I'll pay you a hundred dollars to show me how it works.

Cut to Grif and Simmons

Simmons: I can't believe you guys didn't know this was Lopez, and not me.

Grif: What do you expect, he had the perfect disguise.

Simmons: He painted himself maroon. Badly!

Grif: Exactly! How could anyone be expected to see through that?

Simmons: He spoke Spanish, noone else does.

Grif: That did seem weird at first, but, you always go through those annoying phases. Like, remember that time you were gonna learn to play banjo, or the time you were gonna be a vegan?

Simmons: What do you mean phases, I am a vegan. And I can play the banjo.

Grif: I know, and isn't all that annoying?

Simmons: But you couldn't figure it out. Hawh, you don't know me at all.

Grif: To be fair, we didn't know Lopez either. We knew you both equally as little, so, you can see how we'd get confused. Also, we didn't really care.

Simmons: Yeah, but Lopez was here a day. I've been here for years.

Grif: You have? See, I'm learning new stuff about you already. Now the next time an evil robot tries to take your place, I'll have questions to ask it.

Simmons: Shut up. Why the hell am I the one cleaning up my own body? This is insulting. Hey what do you think he was using all this equipment for?

Grif: I don't know, boring stuff? Who cares?

Simmons: Hmmm...

Grif: Oh, wait, I forgot, you like boring stuff. Never mind what I said, I'm sure it's something for sports.