Just trying to help

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After about an hour and a half, I calm myself down, dig in the dirt for about 15 minutes to find my keys in which I threw in anger, and head back home.

Once I arrive, I check my side mirror to make sure it doesn't look like I've been crying, then I unlock the door and quietly step in. The electric clock on the microwave reads 6:17. My family should be getting up soon. I stumble to try to find my way to the stairs, not turning any lights on. Suddenly I hear a noise, then a light comes on in the living room.

"Mom." I say, looking her in the eye. She sips her tea and shakes her head, worried, she walks over to me, takes my face in both hands and kisses my forehead.
"Finn, where were you?" She then questions me.
I look around the room, trying not to make eye contact. "I was out."

My mom rolls her eyes. "I know. Finn. But where?"
I wait about a minute before replying, "I was at the lake."
A single tear rolls down her cheek.
"Honey, you told me you were okay."
"I am." I protest. "Going to the lake, it, it was a closure thing."

"I don't believe that. Your teachers are worried, Finn. You've been skipping class, leaving early, falling asleep. Your grades aren't half as exceptional as normal."
I don't say a thing.
"Finn, it's been 4 months.", she raises her arms, "4, God damn months."
In a split second I reply in a louder voice with, "Yeah well it's sort of a hard thing when your girlfriend fucking kills herself."

"Finnegan Alexander Parks watch your mouth."

"Whatever." I throw the keys on the table and turn away.

"Finn, wait." She says, calmly. I turn.
"I called a therapist, Angela's mom recommended her, I think maybe-"

"I don't need God damn therapy, mom, what do you think I'm gonna kill myself?"

"It's been a pretty scary possibility. It's just grief counselling. It's a group, so you don't feel targeted. It starts next Tuesday."

"I'm not going." I turn once again.

"For god's sakes I'm just trying to help! You do realize it hasn't been that easy on me, either. Watching my son fall behind on his senior year, having someone I was quite close with as well commit suicide, seeing how crushed you are, do you think that makes me happy? No, Finn. The answer is no."

She walks away to the kitchen, I wait for a moment, then retreat to my bedroom.

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