Foston Slacks - Time's Flies

2

Clara looked around her. No-one else seemed to give the lemur so much as a second glance, which, she thought, was quite odd, considering. There were several possible reasons and she ran through them all in her head as the lemur began to walk towards her, slowly, with his hands raised, as if she were some kind of wild animal.

At first, she wondered if she had gone mad. She didn't feel insane. Couldn't hear any strange voices telling her she had to murder people horribly. That was a relief. She would hate the idea of losing her mind. Whatever else she didn't have, or lost, or would never have, her mind was, perhaps, the most precious thing in her possession. So, not mad.

Which brought her to the second possibility. Was she, in fact, possessed? She doubted this, also. Once again, the lack of a scary monster voice telling her to drink the blood of a virgin, or whatever it was demons made their thralls do, told her that she was, probably, not possessed. Also, finding a virgin in this town would be akin to finding a unicorn. So, probably, not possessed.

There was a large van across the road that could, hypothetically, contain a film crew. She remembered her father mentioning an ancient tv show where people got pranked on camera and then some chap would jump out at them, eventually, and tell them how good a sport they were. If it was a tv crew, they couldn't possibly have chosen a worse day to film her. Except that one day. The day she never spoke about. That would have been worse. And messier.

She realised the lemur was trying to communicate with her and decided to listen while presenting her best side to the van.

"Just don't move, alright. Stay right where you are." The lemur was now only a few feet from her, causing a disruption in the road traffic, but ignoring the horns, insults and hand gestures.

"It's alright, I know what you are." She smiled her comeliest smile towards the van, trying to brush her solid hair back from her face.

"You do?" The lemur seemed surprised the jig was up. He stood up straight, a confused look crossing his face, which was impressive considering he was wearing a lemur mask.

"Yes. Tell Mister deMille I'm ready for my close-up." Now Clara was thankful for the high heels. They really showed off her calves and she twisted her leg in a girly fashion to accentuate them.

"Tell who what?" The lemur looked around to see if she was speaking to someone else, then shook his head. "Listen! It's very important that you step back. Just a little bit. And then carry on your journey by going to your right. Not my right, your right! Do you understand?"

"Not at all, but, then again, I am talking to someone dressed like a posh lemur." She giggled in that way she had practiced since a young age, staring into the mirror to get just the right amount of coquettish innocence, but with a side helping of brazen flirtatiousness.

Clara desperately hoped that this was looking good for the camera. After all, there was no way on Earth she was going to get that job now. She had to find a new form of income and if that meant becoming one of those reality show fakes who went on 'celebrity' shows for a living? Well, one does what one must.

"A lemur?" Said the lemur, opening and closing its mouth several times. "You can see me as a lemur?"

"Pretending to be a lemur. It's a very good costume, though. You can hardly see the joins." She began to step forward but stopped as soon as the lemur's eyes almost popped out of its mask and he fair jumped the last foot or so, stopping dead before her as if he had almost thrown himself onto razor wire.

"Don't! Just ... just don't move. Step back!" Now that the lemur was so close, Clara had to admit, it was the best costume she'd ever seen. In fact, she wasn't entirely certain it was a costume. She leaned forward a little, narrowing her eyes and the lemur's eyes widened even more. "Please! If you want to live, step back!"

"Oh, my god!" She pulled away, taking a step back and the lemur breathed a sigh of relief. "You are a lemur! Oh, my god!"

"What? No. Ha! A lemur! No. No. No. No. Ha! No." The lemur waved a dismissive hand, placing the other in his incredibly well made trousers. "That would be ridiculous. No. Lemur, indeed. That's crazy. No. No. No."

"Maybe if you said 'No' a few more times, I'd be more likely to believe you." Clara couldn't understand why no-one else was giving the lemur a second look. "I'm not stupid. Hungover? Yes. Stressed out? Absolutely! But stupid? Never. I mean, you walk and you talk like a human, but you're a real-life, honest to goodness lemur!"

She stepped forward, reaching out to try touch the fur on the lemur's face.

The lightning flashed in several places all at once. Red skies stretched out above her with dark roiling clouds moving fast, carried by the incredible gusts of wind. The wind even made her hair wobble. A little bit.

She struggled to stand under the onslaught of the wind. The sounds surrounding her were deafening. Lightning cracking, the wind gusting and thunder rolling through the murky clouds. The ground beneath those incredible, out-of-fashion heels squelched underfoot. A sickly, yellow, pus-like liquid covering the entire area with no sight of solid ground anywhere.

Drugs! She thought. It had to be drugs. Linda! It had to be! That cow had had it in for her since her boyfriend had complemented Clara on her skill at playing darts. Since that day, she'd never left the two of them alone and she'd confiscated her boyfriend's darts. Clara couldn't put it past the woman to drug her on her birthday night out.

It was the only explanation. There was no such thing as a six-foot tall lemur with impeccable dress sense and a Chelsea accent. There was certainly no such thing as finding yourself in a scene from a bad sci-fi movie. And that would explain why she'd been so late getting to her interview. Of course!

Drugs.

Reaching into her handbag, she pulled her phone back out. Skipping through the numbers, she found Linda's and tapped out a scathing diatribe meant to both unnerve, threaten and insult all at the same time. Satisfied, she tapped send.

After a few seconds of watching the circle of doom, the message 'No Network' flashed onto the screen. She held the phone higher, pointing towards the blood red sky that she now firmly believed was in her drug addled mind. The signal strength meter didn't appear, still reading 'No Network'. She pointed in several more directions with the same result. With nothing better to do until the drugs wore off, she took a selfie with the red skies and the lightning in the background, just to prove to herself later how off her face she was.

Then she saw the lemur again. Standing there, hand in pocket, as if everything was perfectly fine. Of course, for him it probably was. He wasn't on drugs. And he probably wasn't a lemur after all. That was just the first sign of the drugs kicking in.

"You probably have a lot of questions." The lemur checked his watch. "Well, we've got a few minutes before the next Breach opens. Fire away."