I Am Not Everyone's Girl

GREY RAINBOW

Becca

I do not know how long I had been seated there but my legs were cramped already from the uncomfortably small seat. I took my phone out of the denim skirt I was wearing and powered it on to check the time. It felt like hours since I got here but in reality it had only been thirty minutes. Well thirty minutes  can be a long time especially when you are seated twiddling your thumbs.

I had tried to be productive in that amount of time .I had mastered every intricate design of the room and that is all I had to show. I shut down the Microsoft handset before the incessant vibrations resumed that had made me shut down the first time. I knew I cannot hide away from my woes forever but not today. Just not today, today I was tired, exhausted and drained.

Mentally,physically,psychologically and emotionally. I craved crackles,my bed,my own space and more crackles with barbecue sauce. I drew my eyes up to the woman in front of me and in that moment I envied her so much. How peaceful she seemed in her sleep,the subtle rising and falling of her chest the only indication she was actually alive.

She would get to do something as simple as sleep so peaceful in her waging storm that I could not even comprehend. I smiled as I recalled this one time she told me this phrase, “Miss Jordan,you, take everything too seriously, for your own good." How true her words were yet she did not know me and I her,it was the first time I met her.
I recall that day I met her,San Valeria Rainbow Jordan. I was disappointed or rather my expectations were not met. I think I had set the bar impossibly high,there was no way she would make it into my good side automatically I ended up disliking her.

But it mattered not how I felt towards her and about her being with Nate and Nate made that so clear. For the first time Nate had pushed me into the back seat ,the bench. From a key team player to an extra -I mean not even a substitute- in just one night,this just heightened my dislike towards her at the time.

Nate had brought up the conversation about bringing home a girl a few days prior. We confided in each other alot and he sought my advice on some matters and I him. But this conversation was different because he was neither seeking my advice nor looking for some reassurance or some go ahead of some sort. He was simply informing me of a decision he had already made. That evening he ensured everyone would be present for dinner even dad who mostly worked late.

She walked into the house,before dinner as we were on the lounge area. She wore flats and a floral dress, her hair held up in a bun and accessorize the whole look with a smile. For a moment I was completely lost. I looked from her to Nate who had just opened the door for her,to her again before my eyes settled on Nate,my brow raised quizzically. Nate gave a one shoulder shrug,before his full attention returned to his guest. My mind could not work out a connection between this two. The wheels in my mind started working in overdrive, to me she seemed like an escort. But why would Nate need to hire an escort?

Nate went ahead to introduce us to her and finally her to us. Obviously my mom was beyond herself with joy considering this was the first time Nate brought a girl home, officially that is. He had snuck in several others previously,assuming everyone was none the wiser and I can assure you that this girl In front of my eyes was nothing like them. I was aware of his smuggling business to the point I had become friends with one of the regulars and let us say it did not end well. I thought I had figured out who Nathan's type was,until Valeria.

At dinner conversation flowed easily between the adults,ranging from light to weighing topics. On the other hand I had taken the role of hard to please_ in-law. Smitten was the adjective to describe mom's state whereas dad's face had approval written all over it,you do not want to know what was on Nathan's face,it was way worse.