•texts•

chapter 4

                     snap

6:26 pm

i get back home, and i see my dad awake.
shit.

"where the fuck did you go, tobio?!" he yells from the couch.

"..sorry, oikawa told me to meet up, and-"

he starts walking towards me with a beer bottle in his hands. "did you forget about our little compromise yesterday?!"

"he told me it was urgent, and you were asleep, so-"

"JUST BECAUSE IM ASLEEP DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN SNEAK OUT!" he throws the bottle at my torso. blood drips as shards stab it.

i wince in pain as he continues to yell.

"WHAT DID YOU TWO TALK ABOUT?!"

"h..he just asked me if i was okay.." i say, trying not to sound weak from the damage he did.

"AND?? WHAT DID YOU RESPOND WITH?!"

"...i said no"

he looks angry. "..you told him about me abusing you, didn't you."

i pause. did i? i don't know. shit, this is bad.

"ANSWER THE GOD DAMN QUESTION!" next thing i know, he's right infront of me, pulling my hair.

"...i don't know..! just let go..!" i say in pain.

"..god damnit, tobio.." he says, trying to calm himself down. "..GOD DAMNIT!"

he starts beating me up. this isn't like before. he's punching, ripping, scratching, kicking, and slapping every part of my body. everything starts to fade black as i pass out.

                                        -

when i wake up, i'm in my bed.

what the.. wasnt i getting beaten up in the living room?

i try to stand, but everything hurts.
including my ass.
are you fucking kidding me, he used my blacked-out body? what a freak. i lay back in my bed, reaching for my phone. when i turn it on, i see hundreds of missed notifications. they were all from the group chat. i didn't really read the whole convo, but i saw what some of them said.

"he's such a bitch"

"he wears sweaters to practice, what a weirdo."

"when will he leave the team"

i open up spotify and listen to my favorite song, "lover is a day" by CUCO. i decide to go to sleep early since i'm in pain.

(pls listen to that song it's amazing)

morning

6:01 am

for the 17th night in a row, i wake up early. i don't know why it keeps happening, but it's now a norm. i get up, cut, wrap up, eat, and lay back in bed. i still have an hour until i have to leave. i grab my phone, and look at all of the messages i missed last night. i went to sleep early, so there's a lot of texts. out of curiosity, i read some of them. they were awful. i can't even believe someone would make a whole chat just to bash someone else. they're sick as fuck.

it's already 7:01, so i get up and leave the house. as i'm about to hop onto my bike, pain strikes my whole body. shit, i forgot about that. considering the fact i didn't feel it earlier, i'm assuming it just kicked in late. i try to get onto my bike, but the pain is unbearable. i could ask my dad to take me, but i know for sure that wouldn't end well, and skipping school wouldn't either. i feel my phone vibrate, and when i look at the notification, it's oikawa.

"hey, want me to take you to school today?"

damn, just in time. what are the odds of him saying that today of all days. i reply with a 'sure', and wait outside. after 4 minutes, his car pulls up in front of my driveway. i limp while trying to get in, and he looks at me in sorrow.

"did he hurt you again?" he asks

"what.?! i.. how did you-"

"you told me the other day during your little rant that he abuses you."

i freeze. i did? i don't remember saying that.
"oh, well i mean.. yeah he did hurt me."

"mind telling me what he did?" he panics after realizing what he said. "..uh.. i mean that's only if your comfortable with that..!"

"maybe later." i stare at my lap. he doesn't have to know that his little pond meeting with me caused all of this.

he just nods his head and keeps driving. we arrive at the school a little later than we should've been. as i get out of the car, the tardy bell rang.

"bye oikawa, and thank you." he just smiles as i shut the door and limp towards the school. my strange walk isn't too noticeable, but if you look closely, i'm sure you'll see it. i enter 1st period and sit down at my desk with a sigh. today's gonna be a painful day.

time skip yay 😼

as i'm walking to volleyball practice, i can tell that my limping has gotten better. it still hurts, but it's way less noticeable.
again, i hear my team's laughter as i'm getting closer to the gym.
should i leave? i'm just gonna ruin the mood.
my thoughts get interrupted by my coach. i'm assuming he saw me standing by the door.

"kageyama, are you gonna practice or not?"

my eyes widen when i hear his voice. he scared me. "yeah, im coming."

i enter, and all of the laughter is gone. gee, am i really that bad? i look at the floor as i set my bag down. coach seems a little more sympathetic today. it's probably because of that talk we had yesterday.

i join in the practice routine, i'm supposed to set to the spiker, and then the receiver returns the ball. my sets were a little off, but i wasn't saying anything. i'm just not feeling it today. it was kindaichi's turn to spike. i set it to him a little too high. he spikes it, but his form was off because of my awful set.
damn, what's going on with me today?!
i roll my eyes, but kindaichi assumes it was because of him.

"why are you rolling your eyes at me? i'm the one who has to deal with your royal sets."

i get frustrated. he calls me selfish?! look at him! i wasn't even rolling my eyes at him.
"i wasn't rolling my eyes at you. dont be so selfish."

"i'm the selfish one?! your the one who always sets it the way YOU want it. ever think about asking us how we want your sets to be like?!"

they never tell me how they want it.

"what do you mean? you barely mention how you want it to be set!" i yell.

"oh shut up, your such a dictator. what's got you so worked up into volleyball, anyways."

"...you really want to know why i put everything i have into volleyball..? you wouldn't even be able to understand why i do this! it's all i have left, okay?!"

what am i saying..? words blab out of my mouth from frustration.

"do you even know what it feels like to be so pressured to make someone proud, but keep failing?! he would never be proud of me! these sweatshirts i wear are proof of that! you know how bad i wanna wear a t-shirt to practice?! no, you don't! oh, and don't get me started on you guys. you never treat me like a teammate! and didn't we all used to be friends?! what even happened?! and i'm sorry that my frustration and passion for volleyball is bothering you guys, but that gives you no fucking reason to treat me like shit all the time! you think i don't hear your laughs before i enter the gym?! i don't even talk that much during practice! and if something i have been doing is bothering you guys, then tell me! don't go gossiping, because i have no fucking clue on what i'm doing wrong, and a voice in my head keeps telling me you just hate me for breathing! am i a burden or something to this world?!" i pause while taking big breaths. my coach and teammates stare at me, wide eyed.

what the hell did i just tell them...

"i..i'm gonna leave. thanks for practice coach." i say, while grabbing my bag and walking out of the door. i don't know what shit just came out of my mouth, but whatever it was, i know it might change the mood around here.