Chapter 30

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"My rage is forged into a flaming hot arrow, aimed straight at the very man who now looks right at me, too."



All I saw was red when Mia told me about her grandfather yesterday.

Because I couldn't believe the audacity of this sorry excuse for a big brother. Painting him as the samaritan back then while he knew that Mia needed someone, that for once she was the one who needed to help. God, how blindsided she must have been, coming home that evening to seek comfort and all I did was shatter her heart in such an excruciating manner.

If only I had known...

But I didn't. Her brother had the chance to tell me, but he didn't. Once again Mia's needs were put aside, and that's what made me even angrier. That she was the one suffering again when all she ever did was help the people she loved.

For once fate was not on our side, though. I forgot that I was on call that night. And as I was about to approach Max's twin brother, who was probably the only person who could have helped me right that moment, my damn beeper went off. The message implied they needed a pediatric surgeon in OR 2.

I had to make a choice, a choice that really wasn't one. Because I already learned the hard way what happened when you let your emotions get in the way of your job. And so I instantly turned around before I grabbed a tablet to get updated on the case as I rushed to the OR. I used the five minutes I had to scrub up to do my breathing exercises, to shut out that raging storm inside of me.

And it worked. I wouldn't have operated if it hadn't. But I ended up spending my entire night running from patient A to patient B to patient C and then right back. It was just one of those nights. One of those nights where nothing goes right and absolutely every single fucking thing went wrong.

It's eleven A.M. by the time I'm back in my usual clothes, and even though I am absolutely exhausted from the few hours of sleep I got in between calls tonight, I immediately head to the break room, hoping to hell Finn is still, or again, here. I haven't spoken to him much since he started his intern year, but he was always kind. I don't know why, but I feel like he'd be willing to help me.

The second I see him sleeping on the couch I feel that raging fire again, his resemblance to his brother really doesn't do him any favors right now. "Esperanza!" I shake his shoulder, and unsurprisingly he wakes up in an instant. It just shows he's already fallen into doctor's habits.

"Dr. G?" he asks, rubbing his eyes for just a second before sitting up straight.

"First: It's Dr. Grey," I feel the need to correct him, "Second: I need your help."

He jumps up, straightening out his scrubs before nodding his head, "Of course, Dr. Grey, whatever you need," his eyes are wide when he rambles the words. Interns really are a species for themselves.

"Good. I need to know where I can find your brother."

I'm not surprised when he blinks a few times before he answers, "Uh... I'm sorry?"

"Your brother. Where is he?" I ask again, growing impatient as hell suddenly.

"Why? How do you know him? And which one do you even mean? I got four of them."

"I mean the one that looks just like you," I give him the only answer I deem necessary, but he still looks unconvinced and that annoys the hell out of me.

"What do you want with him?"

I can't help but sigh, running a hand through my hair as I mutter under my breath, "God, why are all of you Esperanzas so goddamn stubborn..."

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