Pain. I have a really bad feeling right now. As if something bad happened and I can feel the pain in my heart.
"Are you ok?" My sister Ashley asked. Ashley and I live together since both of our parents passed when I was 5. We lived with our grandparents until Ashley graduated college, since then we both live together. Ash is 10 years older than me, she's 34 and I am currently 24. We are really close so she can tell when something's off with me and I can do the same with her.
"I don't know" Because honestly I didn't. I've all over the place ever since I started teaching at Easton High. Well to be honest it had nothing to do with the high school although it had everything to do with Alex. There was something about her that made you want to care about her. I could she had so many secrets and issues in her life at such a young age. I mean she lived alone from what I could tell, but she obviously wasn't poor.
Everything about Alex intrigued me and made me crazy at the same time. I wanted to know everything about her. I felt the need to know what was she thinking when she looked at me with those beautiful green eyes. I found myself staring at her more than once in class. I couldn't keep my eyes off her.
Her blond wavy hair that looked so natural and soft. Her gorgeous green eyes that were always glued to me. Her skin, God she had the most beautiful skin in the whole world, when I touched her my whole body felt so hot, it was like every cell in Alex's body was meant to make my body burn at her touch.
And her lips, her beautiful, tempting red lips. I wanted to taste those lips so bad, but I couldn't, she was my student and I heard some girl yelling at Alex claiming that she had a girlfriend in Detroit. Everything I wanted to do to Alex was wrong but somehow my heart thought it was right.
"Melissa what's wrong?" Ashley said and walked towards me putting her comforting hand on my shoulder. I can't lie to my sister, she knows me too well, so I might as well tell her what's on my mind since last week.
I took a deep breath and started "There's this girl that I met last week," I told her that I was gay when I turned 17 so she was used to talking about girls with me. "She's beautiful, like beyond gorgeous," I smiled remembering Alex's smile. "I don't know if I like her or not, but if I do I can't Ash."
"Why not?" My sister asked a little confused.
I took another deep breath and answered. "She's my student and I think she has girlfriend"
"Oh. Well..." I know, I'm a horrible person. "Shit. Sis I don't know what to tell you right now."
"It's ok" I feel better that I got this out of my chest put there was still something bothering me and I can't put my finger on, yet.
I believe in love at first sight. I think that there's someone meant for you and if you see that person, your heart will recognize him/her. I remember what I felt when I first saw Alex in the parking lot. She looked so beautiful. Somehow she thinks that she has to be tough and I don't why, but I wanted to break her shield from day one. I wanted to take off all those layers she has that hide her from everybody.
I wanted to see her true self, just her, to see if my heart might recognize her somehow if he already didn't.
It was around 2 am and here I was thinking about Alex. Lately I've been losing sleep. All because of Alex and I don't really know how I feel about that.
Maybe I should stick to my own plan and stay friends with her. I can make sure she's ok being her friend. The whole kissing thing is her girlfriend's job, not mine.
Although, I wanted it to be mine.
I can't. I have to remind myself that I can't let her get to me. I have to find a distraction from her. Maybe I should start dating someone and my heart might forget about that beautiful face and radiant smile that always get to me somehow.
I woke up and started my morning routine. Ashley and I lived in a really small apartment in Brooklyn. Two bedrooms, one bathroom, a kitchen/dining room and a really small lounge. So I usually woke up earlier to shower and have breakfast ready. Even though we both worked, New York was a really expensive city and we owe a lot of money to the bank.
Eventually I made it to school and started walking towards my first period class. Something caught my attention this morning because I didn't see Alex or her bike. I usually saw her every morning. Maybe she was already in class or was just sick.
Third period, done. My next class is Alex's. I'll get the chance to see her. I hated that she was my student. And I hated that she didn't notice how great she really is, she just has to let go of whatever is bothering her all the time.
Students started coming into my classroom but none of them were Alex. I started growing nervous. What if something happened to her? She has really affected by our encounter yesterday when she left. Oh God! If something ever happened to her it would be my fault.
I saw principal Hastings in the door so I went and talked to him.
"Melissa nice to see you" He greeted me.
"Mr. Hastings good to see you to sir"
He nodded and smiled in response. "Melissa one of your students Alexandra Fields will be absent this couple of weeks" My heart fell to my stomach. I was getting dizzy and I felt so bad right now.
"W-Why?" I barely got out. She might be in coma, or what if she had an accident? What if... what if Alex died? I felt like I was about to pass out.
"We don't know much but she had an accident last night riding her bike. Someone contacted her parents in Fran-" Mr. Hastings stopped what he was saying. Her parents lived in France? Now that I remember she was speaking in French with someone the day I comforted her in the school's parking lot. "I'm sorry Melissa I can't share this information with you." Damn it!
When I got back to class i couldn't speak nor concentrate. I have no idea what happened to Alex and I needed to know. I made the class read Romeo and Juliet since I couldn't give a lecture in this state of mind.
Every thought I had right now, every single energy and cell in my body was worried about Alex. And I needed to know if she was ok, I will find out.
Today. After class.
What the f*ck happened to Alex????! Even I'm worried about her.
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