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I'm pretty sure y'all seen my breakdown right? I ain't been right. Only people holding me up right now is my kids, I'm trying so hard not to drink another cup. But, I got TJ and April, Gotta focus on them. Don't wanna hurt them. But, that part of me just itchin' I need a sip, take mind off of Maya.

"Daddy, what's wrong?" April asked me

"Nothing, Just tired." I said

"Go to sleep than, daddy"

"I'm gone be fine, Just come here. Give me a hug"

She smiled and came over and hugged me, I kissed her cheek, "Daddy Loves you, You know that?"

"Yeah, I know that daddy."

"Okay, Just want you to know that." I said kissing her cheek

I swea' I kiss on her all through the day I have her, I know it annoys her but she my strength, Know what I mean? If they wasn't here every weekend? I would be at the clubs. Getting into shit.

"You getting tall on daddy, You know that?" I asked sitting her on my lap

"Yeah, I know daddy" she said smiling

"You better not leave me." I said kissing the top of her head

"I'm never gone leave you daddy." she said kissing my cheek and holding my hand

"Good" I said brushing her hair back

"I love you daddy"

"I love you too, TJ come here"

"Okay" TJ said getting up

"You know one day I'm gone be gone and when I'm gone, I want you to take care your sister for me." I said

"Dad, I'm gone always take care my girls" he said smiling

"Good, Na I love you, your mother, your sisters and your auntie . You hear?"

"Yeah, we all love you too."

"Daddy you scaring me, You leaving us?"

"No, no baby girl I'm not leaving you"

"Don't talk like that than daddy."

"Okay, I'm just preparing you guys. Go Play!"


The kids went to sleep and I shut they door and grabbed my bottle of liquor from up under my bed and poured a little bit in my glass and sat at the foot of the bed and started thinking about Maya again, I got so mad that I threw the bottle of liquor at the wall.

"That's just like you Trey, Always taking the people who love you for granted" I heard my moms voice say

"Bro, you always messing up with this girl, either you let her go before you hurt her again, or keep her and watch her heart get broken" I heard my brother Forrest say

I cried and cried, I ain't never cried this hard in my life well when I thought I lost her for that four years and when she got shot.

"Daddy?" I heard my daughters voice

I fixed myself up and dimmed the lights and opened my bedroom door

"What's wrong?"

"I heard a loud noise" she said

"Oh, that was daddy. Sorry, go back to sleep"

"Daddy, Are you okay?." She asked

"Yeah, I'm fine"

"Can I sleep with you? I can't sleep."

"Yeah come on" I said picking her up and pulling my covers back and laying her in the bed

"I can still walk daddy, why you still carry me? I'm 8 now."

"Damn, you did get that big huh?"

She giggled, "Yes daddy"

I sipped the last drop of the liquor I was drinking down and than laid beside her and waited for her to go to sleep ...

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