I was running around looking for Lauren everywhere. I lost her and I don't even know how. She was laying on me and I would've felt her move?
I kept calling her. No answer.
"Lauren?!" I screamed out. No answer once again.
Where the hell could she be?! I started running looking for her. I was looking for about 20 minutes, worrying my ass off. Then I heard a couple of branches breaking to my left. Obviously I ran towards that. I got there and no one was there. I threw my hands up in frustration. Then I heard it again. A branch. I ran towards it and I finally found her.
"Lauren what the hell?!" I screamed at her and she didn't turn around. "Lauren answer me! I was worried sick I thought something happened to you. Where's your phone?!" She didn't move. I looked at her in disbelief but then a few seconds later she finally spoke up.
"I don't want to be here." There was absolutely no emotion in her eyes.
"Then I'll take you home, Lauren." I stepped closer to her now.
"That's not what I mean." She said and that's when I finally understood.
Lauren started walking and my eyes shot open. She was walking to the edge of the mountain. I ran up to her and I grabbed her and pulled her back. She tried fighting and she succeeded. She threw me down to the ground and I was completely shocked. She started to run. I got up and ran after her. Right when she reached the edge I reached her and grabbed her shirt so that she fell backwards.
Her foot slipped and she would've died if I wasn't there. She fell and half of her body was hanging off the edge. She didn't try to save herself though..
"Just let me go!" She screamed at me.
"No! I'm not going to let you do this!" I replied and used everything I had in me to pull the rest of Lauren's body up.
Finally I did and I pushed her on the ground and got on top of her so that she couldn't move.
"What the hell, Camila?!" Lauren kept trying to fight be but I didn't let her.
"Please don't do this." I said softly and I had tears in my eyes that were ready to fall.
"I don't belong here." She shot back.
"You belong with me." I said sincerely.
"You don't need me."
"I do. I need you so much and I need you here with me. Please don't do this." My tears were falling now.
Lauren pushed me off of her.
"No Camila. You don't and you know that. Just let me be alone. Please." I got up and now I was face to face with her.
"What happened to having children together? What happened.. to an eternity?" My voice cracked at the end of the sentence.
"I can't give you that. And I don't know if I can give you that ever." Her words shot right through my heart. This hurt so fucking much. I can't let Lauren leave.
"Then don't. Okay? Just please don't do this. This won't solve anything."
"Look how much this is hurting you, Camila. Just let me go and it'll be quick."
"NO!" I grabbed her and pulled her back and she fought with me hard.
"Let go of me!" She screamed.
"I'm not letting you do this. I will not watch my girlfriend kill herself right in front of me. Do you understand that?" I was trembling. I was so scared. I thought this would be the end of her and it killed me inside. "I need you.." I said once again.
She stopped fighting me and looked tenderly into my eyes. I let go of her and I pulled her into a hug.
The hug didn't last long because Lauren pulled back. I smiled at her.
"I don't need you." Lauren said and my heart dropped. She went back to where she was and followed through with her plan.
"Lauren!!!!!" I screamed and ran where she fell off. I saw her. I saw Lauren dead and I couldn't handle it.
I instantly started breaking down and not even caring how loud I was. I lost the person I love right in front of my eyes. I could've tried harder. I could've prevented it and I could've saved her. Lauren was gone and now I feel totally worthless. I got on my knees and buried my head into the grass. I continued to scream and cry.
I heard something and I slowly opened my eyes. I tried to ignore the sounds but they wouldn't stop. They became louder and louder. I looked at the source of all the noise. Camila.
"Stop.." She said.
She looked so cute in her sleep. She's actually a sleep talker. Who would've thought?
"Please.. don't.." I kept watching her. "Lauren.."
That was weird. Why is she thinking about me in her sleep?
"I.. need you."
I couldn't watch it anymore. I was genuinely worried that Camila was having a nightmare.
I decided to wake her up.
"Camz. Wake up." I said and I rubbed her back. She squirmed but she didn't wake up.
"Babe, come on." I said and Camila shot up. Completely startled. "What's wrong?" Was all I said and Camila broke down. She was hyperventilating and she was worrying me. "Camila talk to me."
"You're here.." She whispered through her cries.
"Of course I'm here? Camz.. what was your dream about?" I asked carefully knowing it would make Camila sad.
"You told me you didn't need me. And that you wanted to leave. You didn't want to live anymore, Lauren. I fought with you and literally wrestled to keep you safe. It wasn't good enough. And I lost you.."
"I'm here. I'm always going to be here. Don't ever think that I would leave you like that. Okay? I can't leave you. You're my life. We are growing old together remember? Me and you against the world." I rubbed her back and kissed her forehead. Hoping that I could help her in any way.
"I saw you dead. I can't go through that ever. I can't live without you." She buried her head into my chest. "If you're not here then I won't be either.." That made my heart stop. I hope she didn't mean it. It scares me leaving her alone but I just have to do it. "Please don't leave me."
"I won't. I promise." She looked up at me and her eyes were swollen and seeing her in this much pain over me made me feel horrible.
"But you're leaving tomorrow.." Fuck. I was not ready to talk about this.
"I'll be back though."
"But when? A few months? A year? Things change and people change too." She said.
"But my feelings for you won't. Never." I said confidently.
"What if things aren't the same? What if you move on or I move on.." I started to tear up with her words.
"When I come back, I want you here waiting for me. I know it's selfish but I love you. And I'll never give you up. We will see each other. You can visit. I'll be waiting for you and I want you to do the same. Please wait for me.." I hugged her and we both cried in each other's arms.
"I love you too.."
YOU ARE READING
Camila was always an outsider. She never had any friends. She always ate alone and occasionally would get to eat lunch with the teachers to when she was getting tutored. Then, people started showing interest in Camila and they ended up really like h...