Listen to Arwen's Vigil by The Piano Guys if you can while reading xxx Y
Harry was sleeping. I was sitting on a plastic chair next to his bed, resting my chin on my palm as I studied him. He's getting thinner. Weaker.
If only he'd try. I don't want him to act like Mum did. I didn't want to experience it all over again.
His long eyelashes fanned over his cheeks as he breathes in and out, slowly, his chest raising and falling. The thought of him not breathing, lying cold and alone, pained me so much. I didn't know I would ever feel like this when I first met him. He was so worried that I was hurt. Harry was a good person. Harry also told me his actual name the first time I spoke to him. It must mean something.
Even though he was changing, physically, he was still breathtaking. How could someone so beautiful be so damaged? His skin was so pale. So white.
I felt drained, just like him. One of us had to be strong, but I couldn't bring myself to push myself. I couldn't but not think of positive things now that he turned down medication. The only way to help him now was to make him enjoy what he has left. But I'm scared. What if I can't be what he wants? What if I ruin everything?
What would Mum want me to do?
"Baby," My mother's bony fingers wrapped around my wrist, pulling me to her. I inhale her scent, then kiss her forehead.
"I love you, mum. So so much." I tell her. I want her to remember that.
"I love you too, baby. More than you could imagine." She whispered then coughed loudly. I winced as she suddenly grabbed my hand.
"Listen to me, Jane. I want to tell you something,"
I blink away my tears and nod at her. "Yes,mum?"
"I want you to be strong. My little girl needs to be strong, okay baby? Will you do that for me?" Her words became more rushed as she spoke. My heart was beating so fast. I swear it could burst out of my chest any minute.
"Mum, what is-" She cut me off and squeezed my hand tightly.
"Promise me," her chest rose and fell quickly, as if she couldn't breathe properly anymore.
"Mum are you-" I stopped when I saw tears pool around her eyes. "Okay Mum, I promise. Are you okay?"
"Mum mum mum mum mum!" I begin to scream when her grip loosens, eyes starting to flutter closed.
"No mum mummy please no mum open your eyes," I cry and hold her face in my hands. "Mum!" my voice cracks when her head falls to the side, her breath no longer tickling my skin.
I let out another scream as I hold her to my chest. "M-mum,"
The door bursts open, revealing my father, who had a few tears littering his cheeks. "Oh my God." he whispered. "Maddie!" His back slid down the wall as he cried into his hands.
She was gone in a second.
"Jane? Jane, can you hear me?" A loud gasp escapes my lips as I choke on my tears. I blink and turn my head to the side. Harry's eyebrows were furrowed as he stared at me.
"Are you okay,love?" He pulls me to him, wrapping his arms around my waist as mine go around his neck. I shake my head no as I bury my face in his neck.
"Y-you were crying and staring at the wall." Harry whimpered and hugged me closer to him.
I inhale his scent, wanting it to invade my senses so that I'd always remember it. It was a mixture of cologne and cinnamon.
His hand runs over my back, comforting me.
"Please don't go. Not like she did."
"I'm not going anywhere, Jane." Harry said but I knew he was lying.
"Why are you lying to me?" I pull away from him, suddenly angry with him. "Don't lie to me,Harry."
"I'm not." He tried to touch me but I stand, backing away from the bed. Hurt flashed in his eyes before dropping his hands into his lap.
"I understand if you want to leave." He whispers, turning his head to the side, avoiding eye contact.
I pull at my hair, frustrated with myself and Harry. "Just take the goddamn medicine, Harry!" I scream and leave the room.
My breath came out in gasps as I tried to control myself. My palms rested on my knees as I tried to breathe evenly. I close my eyes and remember Mum's words. I want you to be strong. Strong. Strong. Strong.
I turn quickly, returning to the room I left. I burst into the room, expecting to see Harry on his bed, but he was nowhere to be found.
A loud sob caught my attention as I turned to the small bathroom. I hesitated but opened the door anyway. My heart dropped when I saw Harry sitting on the bathroom floor, hands tugging on his hair as he cried loudly. I fall to my knees next to him, holding him tightly.
"Jane," he said between his hiccups. I shush him and squeeze him.
"I'm so sorry, Harry." I kiss his hair, which was wet with my tears.
He wrapped his arms around me, resting his head on my chest as I rocked him, whispering sweet things in his ear.
"I love you. I love you so fucking much, Harry. I don't care if I only met you four months ago. I don't give a flying crap. All I know is that I have to be strong for you. I love you. I love you. I love you." I breathed into his skin, heart beating loudly in my ears as I wait for his reply.
I got none.
I want you to be strong.