Scalding Pain

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Chapter 36

I laughed.

“I know you don’t like me. And I don’t like you either, but this is just cruel and twisted. I hope you rot in hell.” I turned to leave, with bile rising in my throat. Giselle grabbed my arm before I could open the door.

“Leila,” he voice was soft, and it seemed like she hadn’t even heard what I had just said to her. “I’m not saying this to mess with you. It’s happened. I was asked by you’re father to inform you because he has already left to New York.”

I was silent.

Yes, Giselle hated me. And I hated her, but was that enough for her to pull this sadistic twisted joke on me? Was she that kind of demented person who took pleasure of someone else pain? No, she wasn’t. At least she didn’t seem to be.

But I wanted her to be. I wanted her to be lying so bad, I wanted to be comforted by the fact that she was an evil woman who was lying to me. She wasn’t though. She was a small, plump woman who took her kids to soccer on Saturdays and volunteered at shelters. A woman I had been pushing around for the last week and yet, now, looking at her I felt myself collapse.

I looked into her eyes, and I knew she wasn’t lying. I knew she wasn’t. I just couldn’t, I- I. No. I shook my head violently.

“No. No. No. No. No.” I pushed my hair out of my face and looked around the room frantically like the answers to my problems were in this room. “Please, no…” I couldn’t remember what I was going to say. I just looked at Giselle.

I felt my knees go weak and I collapsed on the floor and leaned on the wall. My insides were completely frozen. If I could hear my heart hammering in my head I would have thought that my body was failing me.

Like I had failed my mother.

I felt like I was going to implode. The tears did not end. They filled my eyes to the point that I couldn’t see. To the point that I felt like I was drowning in them. I wiped my face over and over until the end of my sleeves were patched with tears.

My body rattled as I cried.

It hurt to sit there staring at the wall. It hurt to think. It hurt to breathe. I wanted out, I needed out. I needed something to get away from this pain. Anything. I’d do anything to get away from it. The pain my chest was heart stopping like being repeatedly and constantly electrocuted. The pain spread in tendrils throughout my body, from arm to arm. Leg to leg. My hands started to shake and I knew I was losing myself.

I wanted out.

I needed out.

Now.

I stood up slowly, but even that was enough to make me dizzy, and I almost collapsed over one of the chairs. “Leila, sit down. Please.” Said Giselle.

“No. I can’t, I have to… I have to…” but I couldn’t make sense of my thoughts. “Please I have to.”

“You are in no condition to go or do anything. You will sit here until you relax and then I’ll take you home” She said in a firm tone. She might have said more but I wasn’t listening. My mind was buzzing. Looking for everything, anything, anything that would help. Looking for a way out.

“But, but…” she looked up at me. “Giselle please.” I felt my jaw tremble. She shook her head slowly. She left my side and picked up the phone that begun to ring. I don’t know how long I sat there staring at the wall paper. Remembering all the times I spent with my mother. How when I was little she would braid my hair. How it felt when she brushed it back, and told me stories of princesses and fairies.

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