chapter one: rainbow dash and the honey thief

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rainbow dash was trotting in the fields like a happy lil pony when suddenly she bumped into a sexy pink pony with a flower on her ass. hey have u seen my honey the beautiumous creature asked. uh no rainbow dash sed. 

GOD DAMNIT  pink pony sed now i cant make cookies for the annual ass sticker festival btw my name is pinky pie

OH NO rainbow dash said i love honey nut cookies i dident kno u made them

ye pinku pie said it is a burden i have carried for all ym life

ILL HELP YOU dash said ((lets just call her dash bcuz im tew layz 2 right the hole name)) where did u last c ur honey

i saw him at the barbers getting his mane trimmed

WAIT "him" ??????????????? wtf u playin at rainbow dash inquired

UHUHUH nevormind pinkie pie sed that was a typo im sorry. i meant that i last saw IT at the barber shop.... uhhh..... being put in someones mane

O NO! wat a waste of honey 1!1 we need to take the barber to the slammer immediately

*they trot to the barber shop* 

all done! the barber said. he had a sticker of a pair of scissors on his ass and he had a lush brown mane

FREEZE PUNK

oh no

OH YES

wat ever could be wrong

DONT HIDE IT POPS

oh no did u find out

OH WE FOUND OUT

but i thought i destroyed my sex tape the old pony cried

UH NO NOT THAT

oh nvm

WE FOUND OUT ABOUT THE

MOTHER

FUCKING

HONEY

uh what i dont know what ur talking about the barber said, honey???/

oh no pinkie pie said. theres my honey right there and hes STRAPPED TO A CHAIR!!1

OH NO DASH EJACULATED!1111111111111 ILL HELP U dash ran to where a yellow pony was sitting in a salon chair but didnt see any honey

what the hells this the yellow pony said. her name was glimmer glam and she had a pansy on her ass

have you seen a jar of honey by any chance dash said

nah

ok 

THERE IT IS!1 PINKY PIE SAID SITTING INT AHT CHAIR

where all i see is this yellow pony??

THATS HIM GRAB HIM

oh no not this shit again glimmer glam screamed and galloped out of the barber shop window breaking the glass and neighing furiously

pinky pie followed him galloping as fast as her 3 legs could carry her with dash in tow

just because dash was called dash, doesnt meen she was fast. she was actually unfit af and sat down for a while waiting for pinkie pie to come back

suddenly glimmer glam trotted back and was out of breath

whats even going on dash cried

u dont know???

no what

every year pinkie pie picks a new pony to put in her famous honey nut cookies

wait she puts WHAT INT HERE

yup she puts ponies in there and this year shes trying to cook me

thats gross af and we eat those things?/?

you do

ickkkk lets take her down

yip yip motherfuckers

together they charged at pinkie pie who was conveniently running towards them at full speed. they knocked her unconcious and waited for the po po to arrive

when the nypd came, they handcuffed pinkie pie but since she was white they did it very gently and put her in their car, she was going to pony prison which was as hardcore as it gets. the walls were made of jawbreakers and the cell bars were made of licorice. it made dash sick just thinkin about it

"miss pinkie pie ur going under arrest for manslaughter, homicide, murder, cannibalism, forced cannibalism, and poor fashion sense" 

thank you rainbow dash for all of ur help the nypd ponies said. 

no problem

all in a days work for rainbow dash she said to herself. she was read to take ponylandia by storm with her new friend glimmer clam beside her she was unstoppable you hear me UNSTOPPABLE 

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